I have very few people that I would truly term “friends”. I have many acquaintances, and many people I like enough to spend hours or even days with. But true friends? Were I to count them in the age old method… well, suffice it to say I would have fingers to spare – on my first hand.
Now, I’m no social animal, and quite likely have fewer friendships than those who are – yet I don’t think the difference will be as great as might be imagined.
What is it that makes for true friendship? Simply liking someone, and having them like you in return, is not enough. The bond of friendship is far more powerful than that.
What other factors are needed, and how important are they?
Respect, vital. Without respect you can’t possibly be real friends. Losing respect destroys friendship.
Trust, critical. Personally, I think this might be the most important element. You have to be able to trust them not to judge you when you reveal your deepest, darkest secrets.
Time, important. Friendship takes an investment of time – how much time is not as important as granting it when it’s needed.
Commitment, important. This is tied to trust. You have to remain committed to your friends, and know they are committed to you. Commitment doesn’t mean they blindly take your side. It means both of you are committed to the well-being of the other, and if you see the other making a poor choice you’ll warn, or even stop them. A friend who remains silent when you do something stupid, is no friend at all.
One of the interesting things about the friendships I have and hold dear, is that massive periods of absence can pass with no contact. Yet when we get back in touch, it’s like no time has passed at all, we simply pick up and carry on.
Friendship is truly special, treasure yours – however many, or few, you have.
