What you say you heard isn’t what I think I said.~ cgayling.com/malmaxa/2012/1…
— C.G.Ayling (@CGAyling) October 8, 2012
Language is crucial to modern man, without which we probably would never have developed further than extended family units. However, effective communication is much more than mere words arranged into an understandable order. Indeed, my suspicion is that during primitive man’s early development non-verbal signals received significantly greater attention.
As language improved, the need for these other skills gradually diminished, reducing them to the subliminal. However, they’re still there and we still rely on them. We just no longer pay them conscious heed, perhaps even training ourselves to ignore them – from the mistaken belief that words are all we truly need. Sadly, the only time this comes close to truth is in the hands of masterful writers. For the rest of us, the things we say are often a jumbled, incoherent mess understandable only due to instinctual understanding of the non-verbal communications accompanying the gibberish pouring from our mouths.
According to my wife, and she is right far more often, I said this “I can’t believe how bad these pictures on the TV is.” Quite rightly, Suzanne called me out – gleefully repeating what she thought I had said. (Perhaps a little less gleefully than I would have, had it been her who made the error, but there was significant delight.) After listening to her echoing what she thought I had said, I indignantly exclaimed, “I would never say that!”
And indeed, I never would – intentionally. Unfortunately, sometimes our mouths betray our minds, uttering things we aren’t thinking. (Take that as an admission if you like, subliminally it seems to be one…) After a few enjoyable minutes of indignation butting heads with glee, and neither gaining ground, my youngest child walked in.
Appreciating the value of a first strike, I immediately turned to Julia and said “Mom says I said ‘I can’t believe how bad these pictures on the TV is.’” Julia’s disbelieving eyes sufficed to halt any further explanation.
Appalled, Julia turned to her mother and asserted “Dad would never say something like that!”
Since appalled disbelief more closely matches indignation than glee, I immediately claimed victory. Was I right, or was Suzanne wrong? In truth, I think we were both correct – sometimes what you think you’re saying isn’t what the listener hears.
