On Abortion.

Words matter to me. A lot.

Especially when I discover that words are being used to manipulate me.

I don’t like being manipulated. At all.

And thus to the topic of this post. A topic that rears its ugly head every time an election is coming up, then buries that head in the proverbial sand once election time is over. That topic is the question of Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice. Since there aren’t any imminent elections this seems like a very good time to address the issue. Why? Because the waters haven’t been muddied by manipulative politicians.

Let me tell you right now – I think abortion is wrong. I don’t believe a single person in the world is pro-abortion. Not a single person. However my beliefs aren’t the issue. The issue is whether a woman has the right to make the choice to terminate her pregnancy.

Please make special note of my words. I’m not twisting them in order to manipulate your emotions and thereby reduce your capacity for clear thinking. I’m choosing my words carefully to try and convey the essential issues. And one of those essential issues is that the person pregnancy affects is the woman. It is “her pregnancy”.

Convention in the United States holds that the politically correct way for a couple to describe pregnancy is with the words, “We are pregnant.” Before you nod agreement with how that phrasing asserts the man’s involvement and commitment to his partner, stop and think. {Notice I did not use the words, “his wife”.} A man cannot be pregnant. It is not physically possible. Yes, a male’s semen is required for fertilization of a female’s ova – but a male cannot be pregnant. For the male to claim, “We are pregnant”, is not only ridiculous it is offensive in that it diminishes something which is the sole prerogative of females. It also implicitly claims ownership of the female’s pregnancy. Pregnancy is not owned, and it most definitely is not “ours”. It is “her pregnancy”.

Do you think the last paragraph is making a big deal out of something innocent and cute? It isn’t. Words really matter. They hold immense power to twist our perception. I wonder who originated the expression, “We are pregnant”? I wonder if it might be the same clever people who came up with the slogan, “Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice”?

Manipulative words…

I am not only pro-life, I am pro-choice. There is no “versus” in that statement. I believe life is a remarkable, generous, incomprehensible, and utterly inexplicable gift from the divine. I also believe I have no right to compel any female to see an unwanted pregnancy to term.

No one has a right to make choices for other people. No one. Not in religion, not in belief, not in sexual preference, and not in pregnancy.

The only competition between those who want every child to have a chance and those who want every woman to have a choice is a manufactured and manipulative one.

Words really matter.

Allow me to share some of the thoughts that come to my mind every time the emotive matter of abortion raises its ugly head.

Why did the woman fall pregnant, was it due to a lack of sex education, or a lack of adequate access to birth control? Surely prevention is better than its terrible alternative?

What in the female’s situation compels her to consider abortion? Is she young and ashamed? Is she a victim of abuse? Does pregnancy place her at risk? Can she afford to raise a child? Is she alone, or with a committed partner? Does she feel she has a choice?

Raising a child is a lifelong, incredibly expensive commitment. Yet I NEVER see the financial considerations raised. Are those who are so committed to eliminating a woman’s right to self-determination offering to pay to raise the child? No, they are not. They don’t even offer to pay for the delivery, let alone the lifelong costs. They allude to help being available, but they don’t actually say, “Come to this address. We’ll pay for your travel costs. We’ll pay for your accommodation and medical expenses during your pregnancy. We’ll pay for the birth. We’ll guarantee the child is adopted by a loving family. We’ll take care of everything, so long as you don’t choose abortion.” They don’t make any such commitments, yet they are willing to force the pregnant female to make them.

Who is carrying a child inside their body? Is it me, or is it her? Since it is her, what right do I have to make the choice for her?

No matter what I believe, or how strongly I feel, I simply cannot reconcile myself with eliminating any other person’s right to self-determination. Can you?

About C.G.Ayling

Musing misuser of words, lover of lyrical literature, author, occasional contrary thoughts. An honorable man’s name, in memoriam.
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9 Responses to On Abortion.

  1. Lydia says:

    Or what about offering very inexpensive, safe daycare until the kid starts kindergarten. I have a relative who can’t afford to go back to work without serious help from the family because daycare costs would gobble up almost all of her paycheque otherwise. I shudder to think what she’d do if she were single.

    Or lobbying for one year of paid maternity leaves that guarantee women a job when they come back to work. (Canada has that. It’s wonderful).

    I don’t actually think that this decision belongs to anyone other than the person giving birth…but if general-you want people to carry to term, you should offer some real assistance.

    • C.G.Ayling says:

      Cost really is one of the fundamental issues. It should not be, but reality is that it is. While I believe life is priceless, living comes at enormous cost.

  2. Dave says:

    Sorry, you can’t have it both ways. If you are pro-life then you realize that a fetus is a developing human being, distinct from its mother. For you to be pro-choice you would believe that it’s okay for a mother to abort her child. Familiarize yourself with what an abortion really is. It is beyond words. It is a disgusting and appalling violent attack on a defenseless human being who is dismembered and thrown in the garbage because of someone’s “choice.” Yes, words really matter. But so do lives. Think about that.

    • C.G.Ayling says:

      I don’t believe it is “okay for a mother to abort her child” – I am pretty sure I made that crystal clear in my post, but I’ll reiterate it here to ensure it is understood.

      However I also do not believe it is okay for you, me, or anyone else to impose what we believe on other people.

      It is the pregnant woman’s choice, not ours.

    • Dave says:

      Sorry again, the choice was already made. The child is developing already. Without life, there can be nothing else. It is the worst “choice” ever made in history. By your logic, we should look the other way when watching a murder, witnessing bullying, or some other grave injustice because it’s that person’s right to make their own choices. What about the rights of the defenseless? People should stand up for what is right, and not let selfish reasoning be the winner. It’s the only way to defeat evils such as abortion, the ultimate selfish act. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices in life, and carrying a baby to term and giving it up for adoption is a tremendous sacrifice to save a human life. It is a heroic thing to do, and the RIGHT thing to do. Supporting someone’s right to commit grave injustice is being complicit in allowing it to happen.

    • C.G.Ayling says:

      I see you are once again asserting what my logic is, this time by making a number of irrelevant and ridiculous comparisons. Don’t try and put your words in my mouth, they will be spat out.

      You talk of courage, and bullying.

      Yes, carrying a child from conception to term is an incredibly courageous thing for a woman to do. You are not a woman. There is absolutely nothing courageous about you forcing a woman to do what you believe is right. That is bullying, not courage.

    • Dave says:

      Ok, here are YOUR words then: “I am pro-life.” And then there’s “I am pro-choice” and “I simply cannot reconcile myself with eliminating any other person’s right to self-determination.” Followed with the question, “Can you?” The answer is YES, when it comes to saving an innocent life. Self-determination? So she is “determined” to kill her baby before it’s born, and you support that, even though your are against it. This is non-sense. You CAN’T be pro-life and pro-choice at the same time. I am not putting words in your mouth, so STOP making that assertion. If you want the last word, then go ahead, I am done with you and your contradictions. But anyone with an elementary ability in comprehension can determine from what you have written that you are against this barbaric procedure but FOR someone else’s right to partake in it, even though it ends the life of an innocent person whose only hope is people who are pro-life AND who try to do something about it.

    • C.G.Ayling says:

      Oh, lest I forget. Please do not tell me what I believe. I know perfectly well what I believe and I share those beliefs in my words.

  3. C.G.Ayling says:

    Dave states – ‘Ok, here are YOUR words then: “I am pro-life.”’

    If you are going to quote someone, then have the decency to get the quote right. As I said in the blog post “Words really matter.”

    I did NOT say “I am pro-life.” I said, “I am not only pro-life, I am pro-choice.” I then went on to explain why. If you are incapable of seeing the difference between those two statements, then this blog is clearly not the place for you. Yet again you tried to jam words into my mouth. Just stop already.

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