{"id":4395,"date":"2015-03-31T09:24:40","date_gmt":"2015-03-31T14:24:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/?p=4395"},"modified":"2015-03-31T09:24:40","modified_gmt":"2015-03-31T14:24:40","slug":"on-cyber-bullying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/general\/on-cyber-bullying\/","title":{"rendered":"On Cyber-Bullying"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>During a conversation with Camille Sanzone on the nature of absolutes and truth, which I believe seldom walk hand-in-hand, Camille raised the issue of Cyber-Bullying. That conversation inspired this post, you can listen to it at <a title=\"conversations on things that matter\" href=\"http:\/\/www.iheart.com\/show\/182-Tie-a-Knot-Hang-On-Help-ha\/?episode_id=27195183\">this link into iHeart Radio\u2019s archives<\/a> if you\u2019d like a little background.<\/p>\n<p>What is Cyber-Bullying? To me it is just another example of grossly bad and inappropriate behavior. Like \u201creal\u201d bullying, cyber bullies target someone and then relentlessly begin to attack them. Like <a title=\"real? words are always real\" href=\"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/2012\/05\/bullying\/\">\u201creal\u201d bullies<\/a>, cyber bullies don\u2019t back off until they are forced to. To me there is no difference between real bullies and cyber bullies. They both exhibit repulsive character traits, foremost of which is a completely unjustified and misguided feeling of superiority.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody is superior to anybody else. Period.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone gets only one life. That is a simple, irrefutable fact. Every life is as vital, unique, and as precious as every other. I believe that is <a title=\"even butterflies have wings\" href=\"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/2014\/11\/a-butterflys-breath\/\">another irrefutable and ultimately inescapable fact<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\" data-dnt=\"true\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Tolerance is a variable,<br \/>sometimes we should have a lot,<br \/>and sometimes we should<br \/>not.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; C.G.Ayling (@CGAyling) <a href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/CGAyling\/status\/582568098965897216?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">March 30, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.x.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<h6>Tolerance is a variable, sometimes we should have a lot, and sometimes we should not.<\/h6>\n<p>Bullying, regardless of whether it occurs in virtual cyber-space or in our real life, is an example of something for which we should have no tolerance. None at all.<\/p>\n<h2>So what can we do about Cyber-Bullying?<\/h2>\n<p>A number of things, most of which involve modifying our own behaviors. Let us face it, change always begins within.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The internet is forever<\/strong>. What do I mean by that? I mean that regardless how transient you think something in virtual space is, it has been recorded somewhere. Quite possibly by <a title=\"somebody is listening...\" href=\"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/2013\/06\/to-mr-edward-snowden-a-hero\/\">the NSA<\/a>. Don\u2019t think the NSA are interested in literally everything you say, regardless of where you say it? Okay, then here is a picture-perfect {it literally has pictures} example of something <a title=\"the internet is forever\" href=\"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/2014\/02\/reviewers-should-be-revered-not-reviled\/\">bullies post and then delete<\/a> in the misguided belief their abhorrent behavior will go unnoticed, and therefore unchecked.<\/p>\n<p>Once we accept the internet never forgets, addressing cyber bullying becomes much easier. Why? Because we all want to do the right thing, and if our stand for justice and right is recorded forever\u2026 Well that is a powerful incentive to do right, isn\u2019t it? Hopefully it is equally powerful in stopping cyber bullies from doing wrong. Unfortunately I don\u2019t think so, as cyber bullies don\u2019t think they are doing wrong, at least until someone shows them.<\/p>\n<p>So show them!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Speak out against Cyber-Bullying<\/strong>. When you witness bullying don\u2019t take the moral coward\u2019s way out and ignore it. Speak out. Call the Bully out for being a bully. Stand up for the victim by putting the bully down.<\/p>\n<p>In the past the expression \u201c<strong><em>to put down<\/em><\/strong>\u201d referred to what you\u2019d have done to an animal. You\u2019d take them to the Veterinarian, who would inject them with a powerful sedative that put them to sleep and then stopped their heart. Am I suggesting you kill cyber bullies? In virtual a way, I am. Once you have addressed their behavior, put an end to it by blocking them from ever interacting with you again.\u00a0 In most social media networks with the click of a button they are dead to you, use that button and effectively kill all further interaction with them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But what if you are the victim of a cyber-bully?<\/strong> That requires an altogether different tactic. <strong><em>Do not respond<\/em><\/strong>. Every time you respond to someone who attacks you online, you are advertising for them. Do you want their name to appear in brilliant overhead lights? No, you don\u2019t. You might think you do, but in reality you want their behavior to stop, and shouting their name to the world encourages them to keep on behaving badly. So don\u2019t reward them by responding. Don\u2019t try and explain yourself, they don\u2019t care. Don\u2019t try and rally support to your defense, though it seldom works it does advertise their name.<\/p>\n<p>Remember the adage &#8220;<strong><em>Even bad advertising is good advertising.<\/em><\/strong>&#8221;\u00a0 Don&#8217;t advertise for bullies by interacting with them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But I have to do something!<\/strong> Yes, you do, and yes, you can. You put them down. You report them to the social media network their behavior occurred on, and then you block them. Forever. And once that is done, you ignore them. Forever.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t waste your time by spending it on your enemies, waste your time by spending it with your friends.<\/p>\n<p>But what about <a title=\"to forgive is to forget\" href=\"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/2014\/09\/forgiveness\/\">forgiveness<\/a>? Do you truly think they\u2019ll change? Do you truly think they\u2019ll care? Sadly, I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>During a conversation with Camille Sanzone on the nature of absolutes and truth, which I believe seldom walk hand-in-hand, Camille raised the issue of Cyber-Bullying. That conversation inspired this post, you can listen to it at this link into iHeart Radio\u2019s archives if you\u2019d like a little background. What is Cyber-Bullying? To me it is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[62,63,100],"class_list":["post-4395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-bully","tag-bullying","tag-cyber-bully"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4395"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4395\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}