{"id":787,"date":"2012-10-17T09:09:24","date_gmt":"2012-10-17T14:09:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/?p=787"},"modified":"2012-10-17T09:09:24","modified_gmt":"2012-10-17T14:09:24","slug":"three-versions-of-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/musings\/snip-its\/three-versions-of-truth\/","title":{"rendered":"Three versions of truth."},"content":{"rendered":"

As I climbed into the front seat of the car for the ride to school, my daughter Julia nudged me and said \u201cI wanted to sit in the front.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ignoring her, I climbed in and responded \u201cYou might want to, but you\u2019re not going to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Julia clambered into the back seat of my wife\u2019s Altima, mumbling \u201cOne day I\u2019m gonna.\u201d<\/p>\n

Naturally {for this is the way of things in our household} , I responded \u201cYou\u2019re not gonna.\u201d\u00a0 I felt no need to complete the correction, Julia is sharp as a tack.<\/p>\n

My wife leapt into the fray, words blazing across the darkness like bright rounds of tracer, \u201cYou mean \u2018going to\u2019<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mistakenly thinking she was agreeing with me, I nodded in satisfaction at her unexpected support and said \u201cYes, that\u2019s what I said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u201d, she responded, \u201cYou said \u2018you\u2019re gonna\u2019<\/em><\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Belatedly I realized she had probably not heard Julia\u2019s mumbled words, and that her tracer had been aimed square at me \u2013 her intended victim, \u00a0{Are you starting feel sympathy for my plight yet, for I surely am.} \u00a0I held up the white flag of truce in vain hope of a peaceful resolution to her unwarranted, pre-emptive attack on the innocent, and explained \u201cI said I\u2019m going to<\/em>. \u00a0Julia said I\u2019m gonna<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Julia corrected me, \u201cYou said \u2018you\u2019re not gonna\u2019<\/em>\u201d, and indeed I had\u2026<\/p>\n

I shook my head, lowered reason\u2019s weary flag, and sighed in wounded knee.\u00a0 Yes, terrible things were done in times past \u2013\u00a0I know, I watched the video with my son.\u00a0\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019m ashamed to admit I committed a few atrocities myself.\u00a0 How times have changed, my kids can\u2019t have a bush pig for a pet.\u00a0 Bacon<\/a>, is such a sweet animal.\u00a0 My tea tastes bitter, I really dislike not having time enough to steep it…<\/p>\n

My wife interrupted my reverie, \u201cYour problem is that you\u2019ve got so many voices inside your head you don\u2019t know which one\u2019s speaking aloud\u201d.<\/p>\n

Blinking in surprise, voice portraying my inner calm, I said \u201cMy head is filled with serene tranquility.\u201d<\/p>\n

Delight in her voice, Julia murmured \u201cOh, you mean a void?<\/em><\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I laughed, as I often do to hide grievous pain {well actually I thought Julia was really witty, but this is my version of the truth, so I\u2019m the protagonist}.<\/p>\n

My wife snorted, \u201cSometimes you\u2019re such a fool…\u201d<\/p>\n

Julia added, \u201cYes, an impetulant<\/strong> fool.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lips curling in a sardonic smile, I entered my preferred mode of defense \u2013 attack, and exclaimed \u201cHAH!\u00a0 Impetulant is not even a word!\u00a0 But I like it\u2026 you should use it more often.\u201d<\/p>\n

We drove on, everyone chuckling at their inner thoughts \u2013 three people, three versions of truth.<\/p>\n

{footnote<\/strong>, my wife is really not the wicked person I intimate she is. However this is\u00a0my blog, and my ever so slightly modified version of reality\u00a0\u2013 and, well, having an antagonist is fun!\u00a0 Frankly, I think I’m remarkably\u00a0generous in granting her that much sought after role in many of my little tales.}<\/p>\n

{footnote to a footnote<\/strong>. Did I happen to mention they’re all the pure, embellished truth? They are :).)<\/p>\n

{footnote to the footnote, of a footnote<\/strong>. Nope, I’ve got nothing… just liked the way that looked.\u00a0 What’s that up there, there, at the top of the page… I think it says smaple<\/span><\/span>, or something with an s, can’t quite make it out. Ha! got you again!}<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I climbed into the front seat of the car for the ride to school, my daughter Julia nudged me and said \u201cI wanted to sit in the front.\u201d Ignoring her, I climbed in and responded \u201cYou might want to, but you\u2019re not going to.\u201d Julia clambered into the back seat of my wife\u2019s Altima, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-snip-its"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=787"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cgayling.com\/malmaxa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}