C.G.Ayling

Tag: fate

  • on Fate’s Odds

    Followers of my blog may realize I am a believer in Fate. Every passing year has increased this belief to the point I now find it hard to understand how anyone could not realize Fate is the rider that pulls our reins.

    Is who we are right now the result of an enormous number of chance occurrences, each of which is itself the result of the same?

    Mathematically, those odds are not good. And those bad odds get exponentially worse with each iteration we follow the chain of chance backwards. Soon the odds of anything happening become so remote they become infinitely unrealistic.

    To clarify what I mean let me provide you with a chain of events, specifically leading to my writing this blog post today. You may be the judge of their likelihood.

    By chance my father meets my mother while his family is on a international vacation. They see something in each other. The vacation ends, but before it does they exchange addresses. They correspond {by snail mail}. The bond between them strengthens. Chance results in my father’s father relocating to The Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland.  Chance dictates this is the country in which my mother was born and raised.  My parents become engaged and marry.  They conceive three boys, then me, then my twin sisters and finally my youngest brother.

    Nothing particularly unusual.

    Really?  Let us consider the math.  The average human ejaculate contains about one hundred and eighty million sperm.  Statistically, there was a one is 180m chance of my conception. Let us call that number the HumanBase, for the base chance of existence of any human is at least that number.

    However I am not a stand alone person, nobody is.  Who I am is a combination of two things. Specifically my genetics and my circumstances. In this you are no different than me. So, considering only my immediate family, which is a ludicrously simplified way to consider this, who I am may be mathematically described by this equation:-

    Charles = (180m x 180m x 180m x 180m x 180m x 180m x 180m x 180m)

    or

    Charles = (Mom x Dad x Piet x Chris x Jan x Libby x Sarah x Nick)

    Simplistically speaking, I am who I am because of my parents, modified by my brothers and sisters, who are each the result of a similar equation.

    More realistically, I am who I am because of my parents, modified by my interactions with every other human with whom I have come into contact, each of who may be fundamentally described as a HumanBase modified by a similar number of interactions.

    How many atoms are there in the universe, I wonder?  I wonder how many times that number would fit into the odds against either you, or me?

    Mathematically speaking the odds against any one of us being who, when, and where we are at precisely this instant are infinitely great.  Yet we are, and we are not alone.

    What greater evidence of Fate do you require?

     

  • On dé·jà vu

    dé·jà vu
    pronunciation: dāZHä ˈvo͞o
    noun: déjà vu
    a feeling of having previously experienced the present situation.

    dé·jà vu, also known as “Further thoughts on Fate.”

    I wonder if those who have never experienced Fate are simply too blind to notice it, too insensitive to feel its feather-light touch, or too scared to think again when dé·jà vu fills their mind with memories they at first think are not their own?

    Am I making too much of nothing in an attempt to prove Fate exists?  Nope.  I don’t need to prove Fate exists.  Why?  Because I know there are billions who don’t believe fate exists and that nothing I say or do will sway their minds.  And then there are other souls who already know Fate does exist.  Likewise there is no need for me to prove anything to them.

    There is no need for me to prove anything.  Yet I do have a need…

    My blog has never been about proofs, it has always been about feelings.  Which is what my need is.  The need to share my feelings in hope they stir feeling within others.  In this post the feelings I’m sharing are related to my thoughts on Fate, which I’ve blogged about at various times.  If you’re interested, here is a breadcrumb that might lead you to the trail that led me here.

    Fate.

    The topic of fate is so complicated it is very difficult to understand.  Please don’t mistake anything I’ve previously said to mean “Everything is set in stone, nothing can change anything, so just give up already!”  Not only have I never said or felt that, but I’m not saying it at all.  However I am having difficulty finding words to explain what my heart reveals.  Enormous difficulty.

    If Fate is absolute, then nothing matters.  Right?  No, that is completely wrong.  It is precisely because fate is absolute, that everything matters.

    If a good person sees an ill deed done, yet does nothing, then they aren’t good at all.  It is not fate that determines whether people are of good or bad nature, it is how people react to the circumstances of their fate that determines their nature.

    If we don’t try, then we are the ones who lack, and we are the ones at fault.

    Whether or not our attempts are fated to fail or to succeed does not matter one whit.  What matters is that we make the attempt to change destiny.  It is our struggle which most clearly defines us as worthy.

    Worthy or unworthy of what?  Well, perhaps worthy of an escape from the inescapable clutches of the Fates.  Perhaps through access to heaven where we are no longer bound by the Fates, but also from where we can no longer interfere in the fates of those who remain bound.

    Lots more thoughts to condense into words.  Lots.  So if you’re of the patient, thinking sort then come back and visit sometime and you may well find further semi-coherent thoughts on the nature of chaos.  I won’t promise when, since when is outside my hands.  But the attempt?  That is not.

  • immaterial

    ~ immaterial… ~
    ~
    Reach out and touch me,
    with other than your words,
    you can’t
    for I am not there.
    Though my heart is real,
    my spirit is not made of matter,
    my spirit
    is immaterial.
    Material things do not matter
    to me,
    at least as much as they matter
    to many.
    I
    am immaterial.
    ~

    Time never stops, and it never changes.

    Time is like a stream we flow through.

    Is all we really are ripples in time’s flow?

  • The Followers of Fate

    Once we have experienced fate the only way to think it doesn’t exist is to close our mind to its reality.

    I won’t do that. However I also won’t try and come up with some nonsensical set of almost believable half-truths in order to comfort myself by attempting to explain something that is quite literally outside human understanding. I know fate is real because I have experienced it multiple times. That I don’t recognize it during my mundane day-to-day existence does not mean I have suddenly become the master of my own destiny and able to manipulate the threads of time and fate during those times.

    Am I saying we don’t have free will? If I believe fate exists, how can I also believe free-will exists?

    That is the quandary, isn’t it? That is the reason people spend enormous effort coming up with ludicrously complicated scenarios whose ultimate purpose is to grant us peace of mind by illustrating how we obviously have free will.

    What do I think? I think the semblance of free will is not free will at all.

    Yesterday I tweeted this:-


    “The essential problem is that if there is fate,
    there is no free will.
    We can’t choose when it is fate,
    and when it is not.”

    Someone later asked me, “Why not? Does fate have such a strong hold over us?” I’ll answer that in a straightforward fashion. Which, if you’ve read much of my work, you’ll realize is most uncharacteristic. Yes, I think the grip of fate is so tight not even the gods can escape it.

    Comfort. We humans have a desperate need to believe we can change our fate. But ultimately we cannot. As I said in an earlier blog post… “Perhaps the root thing about the fate, or its lack, is this… Even if the Fates are not, then what will happen, still will.”

    Is this a fatalistic outlook? To answer that question, consider the word used to describe the outlook. Fatalistic. What does “fatal” mean? It means to die. What is the inescapable fate of every living thing? It is to die. That fate is inescapable. That is fate, and therefore fate is inescapable.

    Should we simply throw up our hands and say, “If nothing I do matters, I should do nothing.” If that is your fate, you will, and there is nothing I or anyone else can do that can change it.

    However doing nothing is not the fate of humanity, or indeed of any life. You see everything we do matters. Life matters, and life demands not only to be sustained but also propagated. Our most inconsequential seeming action has effects that ripple across our entire world. Simply because we don’t perceive those effects does not render them void.

    Fate exists, but fate is far more complex than just us. In order to begin grasping what this mysterious thing we know and call “fate” might be, we have to stop limiting our thoughts to ourself.

    Fate is infinitely more complex than merely affecting me.

    How much is “infinitely”? Well, take the fates of a butterfly and a human who live on opposite sides of the world. Surely the two are so remote as to render the impact of the fate of either on the other negligible? Perhaps to our limited human minds that seems valid. But we are not the Universe, are we? We are merely its creatures. The truth is that everything matters, regardless of whether we think it matters or not.

    Simply because we are unaware does not render any action inconsequential.

    The result of every action impacts every other action. The conductor of the symphony we call life, is Fate.

    “If a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a noise?”

    That question explains Fate as succinctly as any other thought I’ve had. We think we matter, but in the grand scheme of things we don’t. The tree’s fall is fated, as is the impact of its fall on the entire earth. That humanity remains unaware does not negate fate.

    ~
    Ripples and flows,
    from whence they come,
    we don’t know,
    and to whence they wend?
    Why, to their ultimate end…
    ~

    Fate. We can’t fight it, even if we think we can.

    I have more to say on Fate. Much more.  If your fate is modified by mine you may want to subscribe to this blog.  Is that a choice? If it is, I suspect the Fates have already determined its answer.

  • On Pre-Destiny

    change
    it does a soul good…

    Bless is a word I am extremely reluctant to use.

    If we look on good fortune as blessings, we must also look on ill fortune as curses. Either of those is an implicit acceptance of pre-destiny. Either of those is also an implicit acceptance of benign and malign superior entities which are capable of manipulating our fate.

    There are no words I know which are capable of encapsulating my thoughts on this topic.  But even knowing I will surely fail, I’ll try anyway.

    Good fortune indicates luck.  What is luck, save favorable fate?  What is fate but an acceptance of strictures beyond our control?  If we can neither control nor influence our own destiny, what then?

    Is all that remains to quietly accept the vagaries of fate?

    How can we timidly accept that something outside our understanding has predetermined our every thought and deed?

    If there is predetermination then it must be absolute.  It cannot be partial, for if predetermination is only partial then predetermination does not exist at all.

    If we accept absolute predetermination, then since all actions are predetermined we must also accept that absolutely nothing we do matters.

    If we accept nothing we do matters, then we must ultimately accept that we are nothing.

    Nothing… means we must accept that we are not even stardust.

    Formed from the dust of dead stars, we are.

    I can’t accept that.

    I am merely human, and therefore incapable of understanding that which is outside human understanding.

    Now that, I can accept.

    {P.S.  Two blog posts in a single day!!!???  This happens extremely rarely, so don’t let it dissuade you from subscribing to my blog. The subscribe button it in the top right column…}

  • On Fate

    A couple of days ago the question of fate came up, several times, from several different people.  Perhaps those interactions fated the writing of this post. Perhaps they did not.

    What is Fate?  That question is not one that any thinking person should dismiss without due consideration. Why not?  Because Fate is far far more complex than just something we either think exists, or we simply dismiss.

    If you don’t believe in fate, then you should.

    If you do believe in Fate, then you shouldn’t.

    Contrary statements?  Only when considered superficially. You see Fate truly is something so compelling it warrants our careful consideration. So, in hope of starting you along a path less tread, I have modified part of one conversation that occurred on twitter. The conversation began with a poem of a fateful nature by Nandita Das. My original Tweet, in reply to Nandita’s poem, appears below.

    Fate… what is fate, if we have free will? what is free will, if our destiny is fated? Yet fate, just feels right.

    Twitter forces the compaction of thoughts. Sometimes this compaction is good, in how it focuses the essence of a thought, but others it isn’t as it removes essential elements. My full thought appears below.

    ~ Fate… ~
    What is fate, if we have free will?
    What is free will, if our destiny is fated?
    While Fate seems that it must be
    Wrong,
    Fate, once experienced,
    just feels
    Right.
    ~

    And below is another poem on Fate, composed in another completely separate conversation that occurred about the same time.

    ~ Fate ~
    Let us not tempt the Fates
    by presuming to understand them.
    If the fates have desires,
    then to them we will succumb.
    If the fates have goals,
    then we are but their ball.
    If the fates have wings,
    then perhaps they’ll let us fly.
    Yet if there is a question that
    to the Fates we may not cry,
    it is a single word,
    one word
    from which they’re warded.
    It is the question,
    Why?
    ~

    Perhaps the root thing about the fate, or its lack, is this…

    Even if the Fates are not, then what will happen, still will.

    Something I find particularly fascinating about the Fates, is that even the Gods cannot escape their dictates, and if the Gods can’t then what hope have we?  We like to think we’re masters of our own destiny, so much so that we’re unwilling to think about the possibility we are not. That is why, especially if we don’t believe in fate, we should still consider it.  It is also the reason, if we do believe in Fate, that we should rethink it, even if only in hope of finding a path ahead we have not yet seen.

    What do I believe about the Fates?  Well, there are a few clues within this post, and many more sprinkled throughout this blog. One of these clues is that within the question opening this paragraph I capitalized the word.  Could that be an example of Decorum, a concept used throughout Malmaxa?

  • Streams, of Time

    Time is an interesting thing.  We spend it without consideration.  We mistakenly think we’re investing time, yet for what return? The reward of time spent is never time gained. Time, something we can never replenish, seeps from our grasp, until we run out, at last.

    In the past I thought love might be the fuel on which souls operate, but I now see this is likely incorrect. Love is the product of souls, not the fuel they consume. Soul fuel is time, and time is finite.

    Time is like a river flowing by, we can sit idle on its bank, or we can dive in and swim with its flow. Idle spectator, or active participant, in the question of our time only we may make that choice.

    Likewise is time in separate streams.  We have clocks with which we measure it, and those clocks compensate for time differences between disparate parts of this infinitesimally small place we so arrogantly term, “our world”. Yet our clocks cannot combine two time streams into a river, or a myriad time streams into an ocean. Only Fate, an instrument of the universe can accomplish that.

    Sometimes Fate is as a cruel blade, cutting us away from the ones we love. And sometimes Fate is a threaded needle that sows together timelines that once were separate.

    Are we the masters of our destiny, or is destiny the ultimate master of us all? For you, the only one that should decide that, is you.

    As these thoughts pass through my mind, prompted by the difference in the timelines of myself and those most precious to me, I find myself hoping Fate might assume its role as needle, and thread our timelines together.

    Just a hope, but hope springs eternal, or so someone said.

    Your swimming companion, in another stream.