C.G.Ayling

Category: Random Musings

Random thoughts, from a random mind – mine. I’m fairly confident my viewpoint differs from that of the majority.

  • Have, or Have-Not.

    A student of human nature, I am always fascinated by the way people behave – and how that behavior is almost universal.

    An example of this struck me last night, while watching a show about India by Oprah Winfrey.

    The show opened with Oprah spending some time with a family that we, in the USA, would consider poverty-stricken.  The family of five, a husband and wife with three daughters, live in a single room measuring about nine feet by nine.  While the children and wife seemed happy, the father broke down when Oprah asked him about his aspirations for his children….  He wanted a better life for them.

    Oprah later visited a family she loosely described as “on another level”, while holding her hand high to emphasis this difference.  In a physical sense, they indeed were on an entirely different plane.  However, on a spiritual level, I felt they were somewhat below the poverty struck family.  They seemed largely unaware of the straits within which the vast majority of people living all about them are mired, casually brushing off the fact that they had about five men working in their kitchen.  When Oprah’s time with them ended, she once again asked the husband of this family what his aspirations for his family were…  He wanted for them exactly what they already had.

    Though neither father is “wrong”, isn’t that the nature of man – in a nutshell?  The wealthy wish to stay wealthy, while choosing to remain oblivious to the plight of the poor.  The poor, well they want just a little bit more.

     

  • My “Point of Wiew”

    This is from a reply I made on the ABNA 2012 Forum, entiled “Why can’t we switch POVs every other sentence?”.  It attempts to explain my inter-character dialog Point of View shifts.

    I almost invariably present dialog from the perspective of the person speaking, or thinking. I have a couple of reasons for doing this.

    First, it shows the reader what the speaker is seeing, why they think they are seeing that, and how they feel about it – all without any need for extensive exposition, or explanation.

    Second, it shows the “action” from multiple different angles – something I consider vitally important in any work about individual character (which is what I choose to write).

    The veracity of eyewitness testimony is a fallacy, most witnesses tell what they “think they saw” – while stating it as fact. What they are actually describing as indisputable fact is seriously corrupted – by faulty memory, faulty understanding, personal agenda, and a desire to tell something exciting and relevant.

    Many term this technique (if it can be called that) “head hopping”. That is an inappropriate description. In my opinion, it is better described as “head borrowing”, or possibly “head burrowing” since it lets the reader get inside the characters minds. A huge benefit to this, for the reader, if that the reader gets to see the “real truth” from every characters perspective while the characters themselves are limited to only their own point of view.

    Finally, as I have most likely stated before, writing is an art – not a science. If writing was a science… well then, computers would do a better job of it than any of us wouldn’t they?

    Art is at the discretion of the artist, not the audience – who are entirely free to dislike it.

    If you’d like to experience my writing first hand, or first head, hop on over to Beltamar’s War – where you’ll find yourself in the head of Adelmar as he relives his memories.

  • Who am I?

    Who am I, and perhaps more to the point, who is C.G. Ayling?

    Since people are generally inquisitive, here is a little information about me.

    First, and possibly most important to some, C.G. Ayling is the pseudonym of a real person.  Charles Gilbert Ayling was a real man, and I – the person using his name as though it were my own – am also a real person.  Though I happen to be male, I hesitate to deem myself a “real man” since that is a topic deserving of its own post…

    Why am I writing under a pseudonym, you ask?  For a number of personal reasons, a few of which I’ll detail here as they might give you an insight into what makes me tick.

    C.G. Ayling was my Godfather, and one of the most important people in my life for many years.  My father passed away when I was very young, my Godfather took the place of father figure and perhaps as importantly, that of a true friend.

    Uncle Charles, as I called him from the day I first met him till the last time we communicated over twenty-two years ago, was a truly honorable and selfless man.  He never married, and thus was denied progeny of his own.  His branch of the Ayling line ended with his death.  There are no children who bear his name, and few surviving people who will remember him now.  Frankly, he deserves far more than that.  This is my main motivation for taking his name (believe me it is not in vain, but with intent).  Even if my work is never a success it is now digitized and has been done so with his name affixed as its author.  In a way that grants him immortality in another way than my thoughts.

    My Godfather passed away in 1990 after losing the fight to tobacco.  Tragically, I never had a chance to say goodbye – he was living in the UK, I was a continent away.  He never told me he had throat cancer, and though I know he kept that information to himself in order to save me anguish, it took me many years to forgive him for denying me the chance to bid him farewell.  To be denied, by kindness.

    I miss him terribly, and always will.

    To any of you who think you’re protecting your loved ones by keeping dire knowledge from them, I beg you – reconsider.  If you die today, will they be content?  Or will they be overcome with guilt, knowing they could have said goodbye – if only they had known?  When you die, you’re done – they, however, are left to go on.  Don’t make them walk that lonely path filled with regret.

    A quote from Beltamar’s War captures my feelings on this sad topic, “Words of love withheld, soon to be forever unvoiced.”

    It goes both ways, let them love you, and show your love to them.

    If you’d like to see more of my shorter thoughts, also known as tweets, you can find them here.

  • Tweets for Posterity 420.

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    Do storms have homes, do hearts have hearths, do souls ever sin.

    Death might be a door, but if it is no one knows what lies on its other side.

    While jealousy might be the precedent of love, all to often, Jealousy is love’s terminus, too.

    Where to spend our time… in conversation with the ones we cherish, or in conflict with the ones we don’t.

    The evil that men do is not for love, it is for that base motivator of men, it is for greed.

    When your more means others’ less… that should be a no! not a yes!!

    Duality is a simplistic limiter. Why? Because truth is not absolute, it is a constantly changing variable.

    Truth requires perception, perception requires a point, points require a place, places grant a view, views vary with place. Where is truth?

    True friendship always is, it is never was.

    If we must follow anything, truth is as good a thing as any. It might lead us to thoughts we’ve never dreamed.

    How does one insult the long dead? Does an insult not require intent?

  • Tweets for Posterity 419.

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    Proof of soul? What animates flesh and makes it live? Certainly not science.

    Once you’ve seen a soul depart… you know they’re real, yet you never wish to see another forced to bid its flesh, farewell.

    Humanity has forgotten things it never knew it knew, and now it questions whether those things ever had value, or substance. Soul, is such.

    Everything that really matters is indefinable, and immeasurable, until we have lost it. I never want to measure you. Ever.

    When we die, the only place we still live is in the hearts of those who love us. Love, not loved…

    What is death? I cannot tell. Is it Heaven, or is it Hell? Is it Fear, or the final safe place, within which our loved ones hold us Dear.

    If all your questions have answers, then you are clearly asking all the wrong questions.

    Our tomorrows become our yesterdays, would that our yesterdays could become our tomorrows for our yesterdays seem far better than our todays

    The last person we should pretend to be is ourself, then again, we shouldn’t pretend to be anyone else either.

    Knowledge is not intelligence, intelligence is not wisdom, and wisdom is less knowledge and intelligence than it is understanding.

    Before you mistake wealth for success, realize that as you gain more, for all others, there is less.

  • Tweets for Posterity 418.

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    Souls scream, souls sigh, souls cry, but soul sounds don’t matter, cause souls never die.

    To me, one of the most troubling things is how many wonderful people so doubt themselves.

    We are all unique, we all have doubts, but one doubt we should never have, is doubt of self.

    Who we are today, is the basis of the person we are building for tomorrow.

    Is not doubting yourself thinking you’re great? No, it is not doubting or trying to be anything other than who you are. Unique.

    Eating flesh, for food, okay, but stealing skins, for vanity, not okay.

    People do not claim fame, fame claims them, and from all I see, fame is a terrible taskmaster.

    The words we say but do not mean, the things we think but dare not say, the truth we see yet do not glean.

    Don’t fault yourself for feeling.

    Is the essence of wisdom simplicity?

  • Tweets for Posterity 417.

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    Is not the best touch, the touch of a friend’s eye, is not the best sound the sound of a friend’s joy.

    Is not the best feeling, the touch of two hearts, sharing healing?

    How long does never last.

    Imposing morality is immoral.

    If people lack the courage to speak freely, there is no freedom in their speech.

    Love makes us want to hear as much as it makes us want to tell, it wrings our heart, like a crystal bell, to love, silence is a living hell.

    I have been to places I have never been, yet I know the place, and that there, I’ve been.

    If you listen to me, the only thing you can be certain of is that at least one of us will be wrong.

    Impartial is as impartial does not do.

    We all take sides, but for some of us our moral standards force some of us to take both.

  • Tweets for Posterity 416.

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    To you, the moon is he, to me, the moon is she, it is the reflection of the other, that in the moon we see.

    As the moon moves, the moon moves each of us.

    When we focus on the flesh, we do not see with the soul.

    Sexy, is in the mind more than it is the flesh.

    “The next time you throw something away, remember there is no ‘away’…” – unknown.

    Pictures tell a thousand words, but sometimes words do too.

    The most ancient languages are not of words, they are of looks, a crinkled eye, a curve of lip, a bow of head, a tongue-tip, seen.

    Show me, don’t tell me, but tell me, too.

    The count of your words, should always be exceeded by the count of the thoughts within.

    Do more for others, than you would have them do for you.

  • Tweets for Posterity 415.

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    Human Nature at it most base: responding to bigots before you respond to your friends.

    Though I understand I’m a slave, I don’t understand who owns me.

    Mistaking knowledge for wisdom, is like thinking understanding is acceptance.

    Our heart is possibly the only thing that grows each time we give another piece of it away.

    My son just received a detention for describing the 2012 economy as, “Shitty.” Apparently, “Crappy” was an acceptable response.

    If laws don’t directly address right and wrong, then their purpose is not to serve, but to bind.

    Words are the foundation upon which deeds are built.

    Where comes the chaos, from within.

    To copy is not to create, and to create there is no need to copy.

    Love is when you are more than you are together, and less than you are alone.

  • Tweets for Posterity 414.

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    The only thing money is, is the means to our end.

    If we can’t step out of our comfort zone what hope have we of understanding?

    I don’t write for money, my writing is for reason, if you’re looking for funny, my works aren’t in season. http://bit.ly/CGAmb1s

    Every day, is today. every yesterday, is past, every tomorrow, could be a better day.

    For some reason sarcasm just doesn’t seem to work in social media.

    The truth resides within the eyes, if they don’t crinkle, they lie.

    The heart of sarcasm, is subtlety.

    We learn more from a single failure, than we do from a myriad victories, yet still we strive for victory. No wonder we learn so slow.

    What can be said about those who make no attempt to understand is that they will never understand.

    Taking pride in ignorance is more foolish than burying your head in the sand.