C.G.Ayling

Author: CGAyling

  • On Unnecessary Truth

    Truth is complicated. Truth is personal. And truth is important.

    However, there are definitely white lies, and truths we feel, yet shouldn’t tell.

    For truth to be valuable, it needs to be necessary. What is an unnecessary truth? Unnecessary truth, is truth that doesn’t serve for good, but for ill. An example of such a truth might be how we think a baby is downright ugly. What good would come of telling the baby’s mother? None. We’d injure her with our words, and yes, words cause the worst injuries.

    So, no, I won’t always tell the whole truth as I see it, unless I believe the whole truth is necessary. Often, it isn’t.

  • Real Men, and Razors

    As a young man just out of the Army I used to shave with a cutthroat razor. Not the wimp variety, which are nothing more than a flip open holder for razor blades, but the genuine McCoy. I had a collection of four cutthroats, three made in Spain of Toledo steel, and one made in Germany of Solingen steel.

    Now you might think a cutthroat razor is impractical in the extreme, however they are not. Sharpening one takes a few strokes on a leather strop. They are easy to clean and resultantly hygienic. Once you get the hang of shaving with one you seldom cut yourself. Very little gives a closer shave than a cutthroat. And best of all, cutthroats are exceptionally economical. You never need to buy razor blades. Ever. Along with my cutthroats, I used a tub of Old Spice shaving cream and a pig’s bristle brush. In case you’ve never seen one, those shaving tubs look like an extremely heavy duty, low profile, white glass cup in which shaving soap is stored. Shaving soap is also very economical, with a single tub lasting for months of daily shaves.  And when the soap is gone, you get to keep the cup!

    Shaving with a cutthroat is simple. You wet your face from a basin of hot water in order to soften your stubble, dip the brush in the water, brush the soap into a lather, which takes a few twirls around the shaving mug, apply the resultant foam to your face with the brush, and then you simply remove the foam with the razor. That is the trick of it, you don’t try and “shave”, you simply use the razor to remove the foam. A side benefit is that, almost magically, your beard stubble comes away with the foam. You then swirl the razor in the basin of hot water to clean it, and stroke off another swath of foam. When you’re done shaving you rinse off the remaining lather from your face, of which there should be virtually none. You squeeze the excess soap off the brush with a circled forefinger and thumb, this makes a neat little point from the bristles. There is no need to wash the brush as all it holds is soap, which you’ll use the next day. Besides, who ever heard of washing soap? And presto, you’re done.

    So, am I alleging that shaving with a cutthroat razor is something real men do? No, I am not. You see, I haven’t shaved with a cutthroat in over thirty years. So, am I alleging that I’m a real man? Not really, but let me put it this way… Now, I have four children with my lovely wife, versus none when I shaved with a cutthroat. You be the judge.

    Back to the post… Nowadays I use an electric razor. Why did I switch to an electric razor? Because of my stubborn, questioning nature. A friend of ours, Nigel, once saw me shaving with my favorite cutthroat and said something to the effect of, “Real men don’t use electric razors, they use a blade.” I thought about this for what must have amounted to about one hundredth of a second. On the spot, I decided to switch to an electric razor. Why? Because my Godfather used an electric razor, and he was not only a real man, he was a true Gentleman.

    The next time I went into town I bought an electric razor. As for my cutthroats… I’m pretty sure my older brother, Jan, appropriated them. I don’t begrudge him, after all I never used them again, and it would be a pity to see such fine tools wasted.

  • On Honesty.

    I think most people have forgotten how to be honest.

    Sharing thoughts demands that we share the thoughts we actually have, not the thoughts we think will cause others to think more of us.

  • Why, a dog?

    Bacon
    Why, a dog over any other pet?

    Look in the eyes,
    they’ll tell you,
    why…

    In other places on my blog you’ll find my sentiments of the special relationship we miserable humans have with our wonderful dogs.  The picture above, taken by my favorite youngest daughter Julia, is of our dog Bacon.  Perhaps you are as lucky as us to have such unconditional, pure love within your home.  Perhaps you are not…

     

  • On Alzheimer’s Disease

    Of all the illnesses that can beset people, I think Alzheimer‘s Disease must be one of the worst.

    It is devastating for all parties.

    The family members cannot help but feel despair at seeing the soul of their family member eroded away, for what are we if not our memories? What is left when those memories leak away?

    However the caregivers’ anguish must be as naught when compared to the circumstances of the disease’s victim.

    Can you even begin to imagine the terror you would feel on waking up in an unfamiliar  place, surrounded by strangers who seem bound and determined to control your every move?  And for this to happen, every time you wake up?  It is not surprising some Alzheimer’s patients become violent.  Indeed, for me it is surprising that all of them do not.

    I have read research, which I’m not going to attempt to find and cite, which indicates that a lifelong habit of partaking of at least two cups of caffeinated coffee per day dramatically reduces the likelihood of this disease afflicting you.  Yes, caffeine is addictive, however to me the addiction is benign, and if there is a chance it is a preventative of one of the most terrifying  diseases I can imagine. Well then I will savor my morning cups of coffee {plural} all the more.

    The next time you hear of someone afflicted with Alzheimer’s Disease, I encourage you to offer as much of your pity to the victim as to the family members left to care for them.

  • On Self

    Why is it so difficult to comprehend the murmurs of our heart?

    If our heart is belief, our mind is the skeptic.

    It becomes so confusing when we are battered with contradictory thoughts and feelings. As if our wordless emotions aren’t complex enough, we analyze them in such depth that we begin to question them, never realizing that what we’re doing is questioning ourself.

    Since self-doubt throws our very nature into question, it is the worst doubt of them all.

    Once we begin doubting who we are inside, how can we ever find our truth?

  • On Abortion.

    Words matter to me. A lot.

    Especially when I discover that words are being used to manipulate me.

    I don’t like being manipulated. At all.

    And thus to the topic of this post. A topic that rears its ugly head every time an election is coming up, then buries that head in the proverbial sand once election time is over. That topic is the question of Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice. Since there aren’t any imminent elections this seems like a very good time to address the issue. Why? Because the waters haven’t been muddied by manipulative politicians.

    Let me tell you right now – I think abortion is wrong. I don’t believe a single person in the world is pro-abortion. Not a single person. However my beliefs aren’t the issue. The issue is whether a woman has the right to make the choice to terminate her pregnancy.

    Please make special note of my words. I’m not twisting them in order to manipulate your emotions and thereby reduce your capacity for clear thinking. I’m choosing my words carefully to try and convey the essential issues. And one of those essential issues is that the person pregnancy affects is the woman. It is “her pregnancy”.

    Convention in the United States holds that the politically correct way for a couple to describe pregnancy is with the words, “We are pregnant.” Before you nod agreement with how that phrasing asserts the man’s involvement and commitment to his partner, stop and think. {Notice I did not use the words, “his wife”.} A man cannot be pregnant. It is not physically possible. Yes, a male’s semen is required for fertilization of a female’s ova – but a male cannot be pregnant. For the male to claim, “We are pregnant”, is not only ridiculous it is offensive in that it diminishes something which is the sole prerogative of females. It also implicitly claims ownership of the female’s pregnancy. Pregnancy is not owned, and it most definitely is not “ours”. It is “her pregnancy”.

    Do you think the last paragraph is making a big deal out of something innocent and cute? It isn’t. Words really matter. They hold immense power to twist our perception. I wonder who originated the expression, “We are pregnant”? I wonder if it might be the same clever people who came up with the slogan, “Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice”?

    Manipulative words…

    I am not only pro-life, I am pro-choice. There is no “versus” in that statement. I believe life is a remarkable, generous, incomprehensible, and utterly inexplicable gift from the divine. I also believe I have no right to compel any female to see an unwanted pregnancy to term.

    No one has a right to make choices for other people. No one. Not in religion, not in belief, not in sexual preference, and not in pregnancy.

    The only competition between those who want every child to have a chance and those who want every woman to have a choice is a manufactured and manipulative one.

    Words really matter.

    Allow me to share some of the thoughts that come to my mind every time the emotive matter of abortion raises its ugly head.

    Why did the woman fall pregnant, was it due to a lack of sex education, or a lack of adequate access to birth control? Surely prevention is better than its terrible alternative?

    What in the female’s situation compels her to consider abortion? Is she young and ashamed? Is she a victim of abuse? Does pregnancy place her at risk? Can she afford to raise a child? Is she alone, or with a committed partner? Does she feel she has a choice?

    Raising a child is a lifelong, incredibly expensive commitment. Yet I NEVER see the financial considerations raised. Are those who are so committed to eliminating a woman’s right to self-determination offering to pay to raise the child? No, they are not. They don’t even offer to pay for the delivery, let alone the lifelong costs. They allude to help being available, but they don’t actually say, “Come to this address. We’ll pay for your travel costs. We’ll pay for your accommodation and medical expenses during your pregnancy. We’ll pay for the birth. We’ll guarantee the child is adopted by a loving family. We’ll take care of everything, so long as you don’t choose abortion.” They don’t make any such commitments, yet they are willing to force the pregnant female to make them.

    Who is carrying a child inside their body? Is it me, or is it her? Since it is her, what right do I have to make the choice for her?

    No matter what I believe, or how strongly I feel, I simply cannot reconcile myself with eliminating any other person’s right to self-determination. Can you?

  • Nothing ever changes.

    But it should.

    I have come to the inescapable conclusion there is no longer anything supreme about the US Supreme Court. To me they are a bunch of bought and paid-for moral cowards who are more interested in the letter of flawed laws than they are in justice.

    Justice isn’t about technical details, justice is about what is right and what is wrong. And what is right, is equal protection under the law.

    Consider how the supreme court have ruled that the police do not have a constitutional duty to protect the people. According to their understanding, the duty of the police is the enforcement of laws.

    The enforcement of laws…

    That sounds entirely reasonable, doesn’t it? Only on its surface. Only if the laws are reasonable. Only if the laws are fair. Only if the laws are just. Too many “onlys”. What about when laws aren’t reasonable, fair, or just? Far too many laws are not reasonable, fair, or just. How can they be when they are designed to maintain the status-quo, and the status-quo is anything but reasonable, fair, and just?

    What prompted this post? A shocking statistic I heard this morning…

    The approval rating of Congress, that far from illustrious body of people we entrust with writing our laws, is currently at 15%.

    Think about 15%, then think about how reasonable our laws are likely to be, then think about the duty of the police being the enforcement of those unreasonable laws, and then think about how nothing ever changes.

    I believe things can change, but people must be willing to stand up and be counted. These posts are my way of standing up. What is yours?

    Nothing ever changes…

    Almost two years ago I reflected on the subject of same-sex marriage. The supreme court played a role in that post as well. I find it rather sad that my predictions on their ruling proved accurate. Instead of addressing, and then righting a social wrong, they chose to side-step the issue. What is the social wrong to which I refer? Equal access to marriage for all consenting adults, regardless of gender. Back in 1967 a different, far more courageous Supreme Court addressed the matter of equal access to marriage, regardless of color.

    Yes, for all of you who just shook your heads in disbelief, it was once illegal to marry a person of a different race. Miscegenation was a crime. The moral crime is that such a word even exists.

    Nothing ever changes, until we make it.

    What exactly did I find shocking about the statistic stating how a mere 15% of people approve of Congress? That the number is as high as fifteen. That 15% of the population are gullible enough to believe Congress actually works for them is just sad.

    Earlier in this post I said that what is right, is equal protection under the law. Who am I kidding? Laws should be written with the best interests of the people at heart. Instead they are written to suit amoral, wealthy corporations such as Monsanto and big oil.  When that happens equal protection becomes a meaningless concept.

    Fact. The vast majority of laws are not about justice, they are about property.

    There is an adage which states, “Possession is nine tenths of the law”.  Unlike the linked WikiPedia article, I understand that adage to mean over ninety percent of laws are about who owns what and how they get to keep it.

    It seems to me that property has very little to do with justice.  We should all be working to improve the lot of humanity, yet instead we’re working to maintain the status-quo. It is time for us to stop working.

  • A brother’s poem

    In that it contains things that are personal to me, my blog is sort of like a diary. Today I’m tearing a page out of another person’s diary, that of my brother Jan. He sent me this email a few days ago, from Africa, where he still lives, to America, where I now reside.

    No big deal, right? I mean, an email happens virtually instantly, so all that’s happened is the world has been made a whole lot smaller. Wrong. Nothing makes the world smaller, nothing eliminates distance, and nothing replaces a touch.

    Read my brother’s missive, and weep with me for what the entire world is losing. And what is it that the world is losing? Family.

    Jan’s email message.

    In dim memory sometime, years back, I penned these words…
    To what avail? Time has passed.
    The deed is done.
    Yet I love you all still.
    Jan.

    ~ Worlds Apart ~

    We live with our children in separate cities
    Apart from one another
    In separate countries
    On separate continents
    In separate hemispheres
    Our hot wet summers are your icy snowbound winters
    Your hot humid summers are our cool winter days

    Our children grow up not knowing one another
    Yet we are family, one family spread far apart
    How long do we endure our self-imposed separation?
    And what becomes of the love we have for each other
    From desolate days to lonely years spent in intercontinental isolation
    The vastness of distance refuses to be overcome by brief sojourns
    We cannot catch up with each other while we do not walk the same paths
    Our children learn otherworldly pastimes and play games
    But not with each other, and then not even the same games

    I yearn for the times we shared
    Together in the wild places of Africa
    For the memories of childhood and youth
    Of times on farms with brothers
    On rivers with family and friends
    Of boats and trucks and tents and tiger fish
    Kudu and cotton and bushpigs and mealies
    Where has it gone?
    Will our children ever be together?
    Do we just grow old and leave it too late?

    Will we really be together then?
    Wish I could look forward to that time, only I don’t know when
    And where will our mother be then?
    Will our babies know their granny then?
    Wish it could be when, at least we were together
    Did Africa really tear us apart?
    Or did we only imagine it happened that way
    While we do it by ourselves?
    Hope it’s not too late now

    Let’s turn back the clock to our future together

    Will we come home then, when we need to be in Africa now?

  • on Belief

    This post has nothing to do with religion.

    What do you believe? I believe many things, so since I said I’d say what I believe and I try to do as I say I will, here are some of the things in which I believe, along with a spattering of things in which I don’t. If there is any repetition it might be poetic liberty, it might be because those truths most vital to us bear reinforcement, or it might simply be in error – the choice of which is entirely up to you.

    ~ I Believe ~

    ~

    I believe the picture we have of ourself is not the picture others see.
    I believe in what I can see, unless what I feel tells me that what I see isn’t really real.
    I believe divinity dwells within, yet for whatever reason we seek it without.
    I believe we all know the truth, and the truth is different for all.
    I believe in the soul, and that souls are fragments of the divine.
    I believe every living thing, from the smallest single-celled organism to the largest tree, has a soul and that it takes every single soul to make up the broken fragments of what may once have been a single whole.
    I believe all life must end, yet souls seldom do.
    I believe in fate, as much as I believe in freedom.
    I believe the divine speak a universal language every soul understands, if only their hosts choose to hear.
    I believe the divine don’t need to teach us how to hear, that is knowledge we already bear, though we may have forgotten, or closed our inner ear.
    I believe I can fly, and that in my dreams, I do.

    ~

    I believe the goal of all organized religions is the sustenance of its clergy, before sustenance of its adherent’s souls.
    I believe any god who has a chosen people, is the creation of those who claim he chose them.
    I believe souls are the animators of life.
    I believe our soul is the only gift the divine will ever grant us.
    I believe souls are not a gift at all, but a temporary loan we may choose to invest, or we may choose to squander.
    I believe we nurture our soul with our good deeds, or we starve it with our greed.
    I believe material wealth is the blade which slays the immaterial soul.
    I believe our path to nirvana is paved with our good deeds, and barred with our ill.
    I believe in your soul, do you believe in mine?

    ~

    I believe truth is the foundation on which trust is built.
    I believe words are the foundations of deeds.
    I believe thoughts are the foundations of words.
    I don’t believe I know what forms the foundations of thoughts.
    I am willing to believe, right until I perceive the lie.
    I believe in what I feel, more than in what I see.
    I believe in what I understand, more than in what I’m told.
    I believe in equality.
    I believe no human holds authority over any other.
    I believe in my own personal truths, more than I believe mass-media lies.
    I believe you matter, and that I matter too.

    ~

    I believe that to every absolute, there is an exception.
    I believe mortal flesh is merely a temporary home for an immortal soul.
    I believe the surest way to starve our soul, is to feed our mortal greed.
    I believe our soul cannot be destroyed by anyone save ourself.
    I believe those eager to slay another have already slain their soul.
    I believe in words more than in silence.
    I believe that sometimes I need silence more than I need words.
    I believe that when we are lost, our soul always knows the way.
    I believe a single ill deed far outweighs a myriad good.
    I believe our flesh is mortal, yet our soul is not.
    I believe that although our soul occupies our flesh, we can never own our soul.
    I believe I can try, and that in my dreams I do.

    ~

    I believe we were all once fluent in the language of the divine
    – it’s a little inner voice
    that tells us right from wrong,
    – it’s an inner voice of reason
    in a world that’s lost its mind,
    – it’s a voice that grows dimmer with every ill deed
    until we hear its voice no more.

    ~

    I believe while human words may well be wise, no human words are ever holy.
    I believe the divine have no need of intermediaries, for their words already flood our heart, soothe our soul, and echo deep within our inner ear.
    I believe everyone who claims to speak for the divine is a liar, for what need have the divine of translators when their language must be universal or it cannot be divine?
    I believe those who listen to their clerics, too often turn a deaf ear to their soul.
    I believe risk should be balanced with reward, but reward should not be repayment for risk.
    I believe the truth is never ugly, though what it reveals far too often is.
    I believe greed is an instrument of evil that bears many forms, all of which are sculpted by mortal desire… greed for influence, wealth, power, sex, control, immortality, and a myriad more.
    I believe indoctrinating children is an unforgivable act of malicious evil.
    I believe in me, do you believe in you?

    ~

    I believe the only one truly evil creature upon our earth is man.
    I believe that what the oceans relinquish, the sky returns as rain.
    I believe no cleric holds the keys to heaven, while many open the gates of hell.
    I believe in justice, more than I believe in laws.
    I believe eternity is a very short time.
    I believe time passes but it does not exist, and we are swimming against its flow.
    I believe the only fitting punishment for a murderer, is to be murdered in their turn.
    I believe it is better to be loved by a single person than it is to be merely remembered by a multitude.
    I believe respect should be earned, not assumed.
    I believe none should speak for the gods, for the gods can speak for themselves.
    I believe those who call for villainous deeds are as guilty as the villains called to commit them.
    I believe forgiveness is far beyond the realm of mortals.

    ~

    I believe when sellers are honest there is no need for buyers to beware.
    I believe there has never been a just war, yet I know many honorable men have fought.
    I believe for every inch won, an inch is always lost.
    I believe divinity dwells within, and we are merely its decorators, we may choose to clad our soul in the splendor of good deeds, or the squalor of ill.
    I believe humanity should be Earth’s caretaker, not Earth’s cancer.
    I believe a god not universally known, cannot be a universal god.
    I believe any question worth asking, is a question worth answering honestly.
    I believe our heart is the chamber in which the words of our soul echo, and that when it murmurs we should always listen.
    I believe if we’re too scared to dream, we’ve given up the better part of life.
    I believe I can cry, and that in my dreams I do.

    ~

    I believe that as with freedom, for truth we pay a price.
    I believe women are the far better half of man.
    I believe those who cannot question, will never understand.
    I believe memory is fiction, yet we think of it as fact.
    I believe fictitious memory is the foundation upon which we build ourself.
    I believe for everyone who cares, a multitude do not.
    I believe we are all born innocent, yet our innocence is soon lost.
    I believe good people sometimes do bad things, yet once people embrace bad they never again do good.
    I believe whoever, wherever, and whenever we are, we are merely people.
    I believe we all seek happiness, and some understanding too.
    I believe while no one is born better than any other, their deeds can make them so.
    I believe we should seek understanding before everything, especially material wealth.
    I believe if we can’t reveal our real self then our real self is not worth revealing.

    ~

    I believe everybody values truth, yet everybody lies.
    I believe in a myriad things, they may seem silly to you but they remain crucial to me.
    I believe who we are can be far more than just our genes, or far less.
    I believe that although no good deed goes unpunished, good deeds must still be done.
    I believe mistakes should not be punished, while willfully wicked deeds should.
    I believe my truths may work for me, but they probably won’t for you.
    I believe words really matter, though they rarely do.
    I believe those who call for the murder of their foes are the foulest of our form.

    ~

    I believe we should celebrate beauty, acknowledge shame, and not be so eager to apportion blame.
    I believe though we should honor our beliefs, it is inevitable we will sometimes fail.
    I believe the principle sign of intelligence is the ability to change our own mind.
    I believe history is written by the victors, and far too often it’s nothing but a biased lie.
    I believe we should vote on the issues, not on our emotions.
    I believe for one person to be rich, a multitude must be poor.
    I believe the truths I hold today, I may see as false tomorrow.

    ~

    I believe honor can never for sale.
    I believe a soul for sale is not worth its price.
    I believe humanity consistently displays collective stupidity, and individual brilliance.
    I believe we should try, even when we know we’ll fail.
    I believe in free will, yet I know the majority still won’t.
    I believe the world needs far less tolerance of poor behavior.
    I believe that X resources divided among Y people, where Y is greater than seven billion, should be X/Y, not (½X / 85) = (½X / (Y – 85))
    I believe truth is a matter of life more than a matter of mathematics.
    I believe no matter the magnificence of a lie’s disguise, the lie itself is ugly.
    I believe the shabbiest garments do not detract from truth’s beauty.
    I believe we are universally drawn toward truth, and universally repulsed by lies.
    I believe no one really knows, though too many claim they do.

    ~

    I believe happiness has become a hopeless goal, where once it was reality.
    I believe in the right to self-determination and self-defense, not compulsion and attack.
    I believe that just as no size fits all, no one truth does either.
    I believe those who care matter, and those who don’t just don’t.
    I believe the purest truth flows within the caverns of our heart.
    I believe partial truths are often complete lies.
    I believe what we say doesn’t matter if there is no one to hear what we say.
    I believe short-term profits never justify long-term pains.

    ~

    I believe to find beauty we must ardently seek it, but closing our eyes to ugliness allows ugliness to remain.
    I believe if we seek understanding we’ll eventually find it, but if we don’t we won’t.
    I believe time waits for no one, but eventually claims us all.
    I believe once you wear a price tag once, you’re always up for sale.
    I believe though change is inevitable, people are always the same.
    I believe in complex contradictory truths more than simply aligned lies.
    I believe when something is so obvious it simply must be true, we truly need to simply examine it again.
    I believe we should listen to our heart before we bow before our mind.
    I believe our heart pays the penalty long before our mind perceives the foul.
    I believe if we’re given a choice of difficult versus easy, we’ll choose easy every time.
    I believe while collectives are easy to fool, individuals are not.
    I believe when someone claims to have your best interests at heart, they really have their own.
    I believe the only things we truly create are our children, yet they aren’t our creations at all.
    I believe once honor is relinquished, it can never be regained.
    I believe there are holy words but they aren’t uttered by other men, they echo in our inner ear where only we can hear them.
    I believe true friends are so rare the fingers of one hand suffice to count them, and that that number excludes the thumb.
    I believe when we find our soul unbalanced we can either stop, sit, and reel, or we can stagger on and fall.

    ~

    I believe sometimes the universe sews two souls together, and sometimes it rips those souls apart.
    I believe love is like a light, with somebody else at the switch.
    I believe sometimes we do things wrong and cannot put them right.
    I believe if we refuse to look into our heart we cannot hope to see.
    I believe the last person I’ll ever understand, is me.
    I believe there has never been anyone like you and there never will be again.
    I believe sometimes the universe is kind enough to let us glimpse love’s glory, and at others it doesn’t seem to care.
    I believe the hardest lies to see are those we tell ourself.
    I believe I can fly, and if you let yourself dream you could too.

    ~

    And after this minuscule, fractional list detailing some things I believe, I think you may still find yourself asking the question, “But does he believe in the same God as me?” If you do then let me ask, “Why does it matter? Is the revealed content of my heart not enough?” However I’ll also answer with an unequivocal, “No, I do not believe in the same god as you.” To me the question of gods is so complex a subject it must wait for another day, or perhaps even another lifetime.

    {P.S. It is said that a writer should show not tell, as I seldom listen to platitudes that pretend to be wisdom I have simply told. However if you’d prefer to see, then this is where you’ll find the “show”.}