C.G.Ayling

Category: General

General Topics

  • Friendship

    I have very few people that I would truly term “friends”.  I have many acquaintances, and many people I like enough to spend hours or even days with.  But true friends?  Were I to count them in the age old method… well, suffice it to say I would have fingers to spare – on my first hand.

    Now, I’m no social animal, and quite likely have fewer friendships than those who are – yet I don’t think the difference will be as great as might be imagined.

    What is it that makes for true friendship?  Simply liking someone, and having them like you in return, is not enough.  The bond of friendship is far more powerful than that.

    What other factors are needed, and how important are they?

    Respect, vital.  Without respect you can’t possibly be real friends.  Losing respect destroys friendship.

    Trust, critical.  Personally, I think this might be the most important element.  You have to be able to trust them not to judge you when you reveal your deepest, darkest secrets.

    Time, important.  Friendship takes an investment of time – how much time is not as important as granting it when it’s needed.

    Commitment, important.  This is tied to trust.  You have to remain committed to your friends, and know they are committed to you.  Commitment doesn’t mean they blindly take your side.  It means both of you are committed to the well-being of the other, and if you see the other making a poor choice you’ll warn, or even stop them.  A friend who remains silent when you do something stupid, is no friend at all.

    One of the interesting things about the friendships I have and hold dear, is that massive periods of absence can pass with no contact.  Yet when we get back in touch, it’s like no time has passed at all, we simply pick up and carry on.

    Friendship is truly special, treasure yours – however many, or few, you have.

  • Work…

    The priorities people set are strange.  At almost any social gathering, the greetings exchanged between new acquaintances includes information about work.  “What do you do?”, or “I’m a blah blah de blah.”

    Why are we defined by the work we do, and not the things we’ve done?  I’m as guilty of this foolishness as anyone.  For a long time I’ve chosen my jobs (including the one I’ve held for the last six years) for altruistic reasons, yet in so doing I’ve defined myself by the work I’m doing – not the things I do.

  • Make a difference.

    Some people have a profound impact on our lives, while remaining utterly unaware.

    In my life, one such person was a certain Miss Earl – a high school teacher.  The impact she had on me was twofold, firstly physical, second, fanning the flames of another passion entirely – my love of English as a medium for abstract expression.

    I’m likely looking at the past through rose tinted spectacles, but I recall having a monumental crush on a gorgeous, hawk nosed young lady and doing the only thing I could to make a positive impression on her – putting substantially more effort into English than I did most subjects.  I doubt she ever noticed me amongst the pack of uniformed youths traversing her class, namely English Literature.  A litany of boys who grew, before her aging eyes, into young men.

    Teachers have a chance at immortality in the hearts of the young people they help shape.  Fill your time with students with passion, and be remembered forever.  Fill it with rote lessons and be forgotten, cast out of consideration, and without a second thought.

    To all the former, Miss Earl standing high amongst them, thank you!

    To the latter… I’ve forgotten you, and care not conjure memories of indifference.

  • All the same?

    I’m in the process of reading a forthcoming translation of an ancient Chinese legend.  I’m not editing it, simply making a few minor suggestions as to fundamental differences of a cultural nature that might confuse western readers.  During an apologetic, explanatory email to the author / translator I made an observation that startled me, before granting me an insight.

    I said “We’re all people, and often make the mistake of thinking that as such we’re the same – we are not.  The thinking process of our parents and peers definitely modifies the way we look at things.”

    True to form, as is so often the case with these types of things, a few hours later I found myself listening to an audio book titled “Unbroken” by Laura Hillenbrand.  Within it, she raised the national indoctrination of the people of Japan prior to the Second World War.  The militaristic government set out to pervert an ancient, rich and wonderful culture – essentially twisting their own history to convince the Japanese people that brutality, bloodshed and cruelty were acceptable forms of behavior when used against the inferior nations.  The war crimes perpetrated as a result of this indoctrination must reign right up there with those perpetrated by Nazi Germany.  And guess what?  Hitler did precisely the same thing to the Germans – dehumanizing the Jews and rendering any behavior toward them “acceptable”.

    What have we learnt from history?  Sadly what history all too often teaches us – that we don’t learn from history.  Genocide is occurring in multiple regions of the world today.  In most of those cases the “enemy” is dehumanized, while the cruelty of the oppressors is lauded.  Look at the horrific behavior of multiple Islamic factions who delight in brutal beheadings.   And now, before you nod your head in outraged agreement, look in the mirror and ask yourself how you feel about Muslims…

    How do you feel about people whose skin is a little duskier than our own, whose hair is darker, whose noses are larger, whose facial hair is thicker, who dare to worship a different deity?  Do those differences render them somehow less human?

    A little shame faced?  Discard the rhetoric we have shoved down our throats on a daily basis, then ask the question again – but this time emphasize how you, personally, feel.

    Is the answer the same as it was moments ago?  I truly hope not.

    Now, I leave you with a final thought.  Eugenics is alive, strong, morally reprehensible, and utterly impartial.

  • Ticks, and Tacks.

    Navy tacks that is, as in ships zigging and zagging.

    I’m feeling energized right now.  About three days ago, while lying in bed in the early hours of the morning, mopping and drenched in the cold sweat of self-doubt, liberally lathered with self-pity… I had an inspiration.

    Something has been troubling me about my epic series, Malmaxa, for well over a month.  In fact pretty much since the afterglow of releasing the second book in the series, namely “The Pilgrimage”.  Initially I attributed this to the usual slump I feel after finally reaching some significant goal (well, significant to me if not anyone else).  However as the days drew on I realized this was much more serious than a little slump.  It was debilitating, distressing and distracted me from working on the third Malmaxa novel, to be titled “Vengeance Cost”.

    Frankly, I started panicking about the problem.  Thoughts I had seriously screwed up simply wouldn’t let go.  Then the “revelation”…  After lying in bed till time to rise arrived, I had the basis of a completely new thought, and a completely different novel.  I started working on it immediately, and sent the first 900 words – rank, raw, and entirely unedited – off to Amy a few hours later.

    In the days since, the idea has blossomed, and my three finger typing has caused callouses on my elbows, a crick in my neck, and a glow in my heart…

    Here is a quote from that early work, which I tweeted a little while ago “Well, what little the future truly encompassed – for was not war a small angry little word, embraced by small angry little men?”  Yes, I know that sounds pretty familiar to anyone who has read any of Malmaxa – I make no excuse for the way my words work.  However, this new novel is nothing like Malmaxa.  To prove that, here’s another quote from the early work, “Heads would roll over that incident – the navy didn’t take kindly to losing a billion dollars’ worth of advanced, top secret technology.”

    Piqued your interest?  If so visit again sometime, or follow me on twitter, where I occasionally post silly little thoughts, stolen from a simple little mind – my own.

  • Gender Differentials.

    How differently men and women see things never ceases to amaze me. Their different outlooks show in the most unexpected places.

    After laying a clutch of eggs, loggerhead turtles abandon them to their fate.  From late spring to the end of summer, Department of Natural Resources volunteers keep watch for these nests down the Atlantic coastline.  I’m currently on vacation in Edisto Beach and accompanied my youngest daughter to a “turtle inventory”. This is where a DNR volunteer excavates a recently hatched nest (five days after the first baby turtles break free). During the excavation, they keep close track on various numbers. This is done in order to determine the success rate of hatchlings and to gather various statistical data on this endangered species.

    Along with about thirty other people, we watched with fading hope as a series of unbroken eggs were retrieved from the nest. Turns out a storm brought high tides which drowned most of the eggs in this particular nest. With the crowd’s mood somber, most of the smaller children moved away. After about five minutes of bad news, made more so by realization of the apparent callousness of nature, the DNR volunteer withdrew a baby turtle. Its immediately recognizable shape galvanized some of the parents to call back their children.

    Forever interested in human nature, I listened as a woman called out to her daughter, “They found a baby turtle, it isn’t alive.” A moment, and a man called to his, “They found a turtle, it’s dead.”

    The girls were of similar age, as were their parents.  The thing the parents said is the same.  Essentially.  Perhaps what each child heard was similarly the same, but perhaps it was not.

  • Especially for Laurie’s blog visitors.

    Thank you to any visitors directed to my website after reading Laurie’s Blog.  A special thanks also goes to Laurie herself, who has been most helpful to me and multiple other authors.

    Please remember that right now every single visitor to her blog can download an entirely free copy of the first novel in my Malmaxa series – “The Pilgrimage“.  If you haven’t already done so please do it now by visiting SmashWords – the free offer will be available for at least the next two weeks, however you don’t want to miss it and there really is no time like the present…  Oh, please be sure to pass the word along to anyone you know who might be interested in my particular style of writing, which I am beginning to describe as “Philosophy couched as Fantasy”, it sounds heavy – but it really isn’t and I promise I don’t attempt to sway you to my peculiar beliefs!

    As an added bonus I’ve decided to make a further concession to anyone who replies to this post during the course of this promotion.  I’ll personally email you a coupon code for a substantial discount off the SmashWords price of the second novel in the series “The Pilgrimage”.  I’ll send those emails out at the end of the promotion, which should give you enough time to read Beltamar’s War, and see if you care to proceed into your exploration of my world – Malmaxa.

    Thank you all for visiting!

  • Vengeance Cost

    Let’s forget our political woes for the moment, and get down to the important stuff – where am I with the third novel in Malmaxa?  Namely, Vengeance Cost.

    Well, I could lie, and say Vengeance Cost is going great.  Or, I could lie and say I’m struggling.  Though it goes against everything I am as a man, I won’t lie (but I console myself in this by keeping my lips firmly pressed together as I type – they aren’t moving, therefore I’m not lying…).  Vengeance Cost is going … OK.

    I have already defined the main threads, and even written the first 44 pages of the story.  So, I just lied – Malmaxa really writes itself – there, I feel better already :).  Don’t hold your breath though, there is a massive amount of work to be done before Vengeance Cost approaches readiness for release.  That said, things are definitely getting faster.  Beltamar’s War took me about two years (after literally a lifetime of dreaming about it), The Pilgrimage took just over a year, so perhaps Vengeance Cost will be out in less than a year?  I don’t think so, though hope springs eternal.

    One of the things I’m doing as I work on Vengeance Cost is re-reading both Beltamar’s War and The Pilgrimage to ensure continuity.  A side effect of that is that I will be releasing a revised edition of The Pilgrimage – I know this is hard to believe, but I’ve actually found several sentences that are currently beneath my  already low standards.  The paperback version of The Pilgrimage will be released with that revision.

    In case you’re wondering, the title of the third novel in Malmaxa was set to be “The Un-Matched Prophet”.  As with many things Malmaxa, that changed on a fateful impulse.  Though I won’t say what that impulse was, for fear of spoiling things for my readers, I will say this:-

    I find that much beloved, and often visited, perception, “Sometimes you must do the wrong thing, for the right reason”, to be fatally flawed.  Wrong, is wrong.  Though the perpetrator of wrong might eventually find their way to right, there is invariably a better path to justice than the one that leads through wrong.  Evil’s taint becomes increasingly tolerable, with each exposure…

    Still, the reasons that good people do bad things are compelling.  Poor behavior is almost endlessly fascinating.  Since Malmaxa is a thinly veiled look at real life, not even its best characters are exempt from poor choices and disastrous decisions.

    Does vengeance have a cost?  Indeed, it does and in Malmaxa, multiple paths lead toward vengeance.  The question must therefore be – To which thread in my written tapestry does the title refer, and what price will the capricious Gods levy for its satisfaction?

  • Supreme? In what sense?

    I am extremely disappointed at the latest evidence that the highest court in the land is far from supreme.  When did they discard their duty to uphold the constitution?  When did they decide to ignore the separation of powers between legislative and judicial?  Does political expediency outweigh their duty to uphold the constitution?  Doesn’t that idiotic mantra, “Three strikes and you’re out”, sound good right about now?

    The medical system in the USA is severely broken.  I don’t question this for a heartbeat.  However, the healthcare reform monstrosity, something that will forever remain part of President Obama’s legacy, fails to fix this.

    First, Obamacare weighs in at 2700 pages of legalese.  I’m confident it won’t contain any opportunities for misunderstanding – not.  Though I generally don’t like using catch phrases, the name “Obamacare” seems appropriate.  How many pages was the Constitution?  How about the ten commandments?  Or even the entire bible, both old and new testaments?  Cast in that light, 2700 pages seems to be exactly what it is – flagrantly excessive.

    However, the single thing that really concerns me is the individual mandate – a clearly unconstitutional law that forces us to pay privately operated healthcare entities insurance premiums.  We are compelled to do so.  We have no choice – we either give our money to these for-profit corporations, or the government punishes us.  This isn’t like other insurances related to fiscal responsibility.  While we can choose not to drive a car, we can’t choose not to live.

    Since taxes, by the very definition of the word, go to the government these compulsory insurance premiums are very obviously not a tax.  How the supreme court could choose to think premiums paid to private corporations are taxes…  well, that boggles my mind.  How the supreme court could choose to uphold a bill they openly acknowledge not even bothering to read… again, the mind boggles.

    The supreme court (deliberately not capitalized as they are clearly no longer worthy of respect), has shown itself to be far from supreme.  It has aligned itself with the legislative branch for the sake of convenience – not for the sake of right.

    I intend to vote for change.  I am distressed my choice in candidates is so abysmally poor.  In the coming election I won’t be voting for a candidate, or a party.  I won’t even be against a candidate, or a party (which might lend some satisfaction).  No, mine will be a vote for no other reason than change.

    What a horrible state of affairs must there be to choose the devil you don’t know, over the devil you do?  I think I finally understand why Egyptians, in their small minority, voted the way they did…

    They voted against what they had before – they voted for change, terrible though it will be.

  • A rock, a hard place, and a silent void.

    Why is it that the radical voices on either side of the political spectrum are granted such an inequitable amount of face time in the media?  The answer is the same today as it has been since the start of the mass media phenomenon – bad news sells.  In itself that is an indictment of the nature of humanity – we cannot blame the media for giving consumers what they demand.

    However, in the political arena this is an intolerable situation since it alienates voters.  When voters are given a choice of two terrible candidates, many of them will choose to remain silent.  After all, if your choice is a rock or a hard place you have nothing to gain by choosing either.  Sadly, that is precisely what has just happened in Egypt – the majority of voters decided that the choice was simply unbearable and made no choice.  Unfortunately, when voters choose this path the winners are invariably the radical fringe.

    Why does this matter to sensible people in more civilized countries?  (Forgive me for the implication that Egypt is not a civilized country – though that is not my intent, I fear that beneath a radical religious government it will soon devolve into that.)  The implication is catastrophic for sensible people everywhere.  None of us are exempt simply by the good fortune of where we happen to live.  Since the USA in in a presidential election year, let’s look at it as an illustration.

    I have lived in the USA for twenty years, and every election I have been appalled by the blatant and transparent manipulation of the voting public by the two political parties, which invariably use emotive issues to divide the electorate.  Every election has seen the hysterical voices of the Democrat and Republican parties gain volume.  Every election has seen those two parties move further and further apart, ideologically.

    Nonsense.

    My perception of the truth is far from that sad picture.  The majority of the people I know are very similar to how they were twenty years ago.  If their viewpoints were extreme way back then, they are still extreme.  If they were mellow, they still are.

    So, if the people haven’t fundamentally changed, then where does the perception of two radically opposed political extremes originate?  Listening to the media, one might be fooled into believing there is a vast divide between these two extremes – a void utterly empty of people.

    One might be fooled, if one is a fool.

    The mass media holds substantial blame for giving disproportionate coverage to the radical extremes present in both political parties.  They are not simply giving the electorate what they desire – they are actively stirring up trouble and thereby amplifying the voices of the vocal minority.  What happened to fair, impartial, and equivalent coverage?  Somehow it has been washed away, the mass media has quite literally sold out – ask yourself who is funding the extremist political advertising bombarding us from all sources?  I rather doubt it comes from people just like you, or I – in fact I’m pretty sure it doesn’t, and this begets the question – who then?

    I am an independent.  My intention is always to vote with my conscience – frankly I can’t understand how anyone can be foolish enough to vote along party lines.  Do such people truly believe their political affiliation overrides their moral obligation to do what is right?  As an example of this, let me quote this borderline hysterical comment from a woman who I quite like, and who is normally levelheaded, “I vote Republican and no new taxes!”

    Really?  That is as far as your obligation goes?  So what about the fact that police and sheriff departments are being forced to retrench officers of the law because they simply don’t have adequate funding to pay their existing staff?  You’re going to vote no to the tax line item that funds their departments?  How about schools?  How about road maintenance?  How about funding the military?  What about higher education?  And the list goes on.  Taxes pay for these things.  Taxes should expire, and taxes should be renewed – if you expect to have access to the services they provide.

    As to the rhetoric of privatize, privatize.  Sorry, but there are some things that the private sector simply has no business in – things that are prerequisites to civilization as we know it, things that usually have a cost but no direct benefit.  For example:- the military, the police, the judiciary, education, road construction and maintenance, the jail system (what morally bankrupt people allowed the fiasco of Corrections Corporation of America to come into existence?), along with various others.

    To that list of the obvious, I would also add the medical system, since I don’t believe medical treatment should only be available to the wealthy.  I am also inclined to add communications infrastructure, as inability to access information denies fair competition.  However, those are my personal beliefs only and without majority consensus they do not deserve consideration.  (I don’t mean a majority of the vocal minority)

    So, after that long and circuitous route, we come back to the root of this issue.  A rock, a hard place, and a silent void.

    The two major political parties are doing the electorate a huge disservice by limiting our choices to candidates that hold little in common with the “void of the silent majority”.

    If Obama is the hard place, then Mitt Romney is the rock.  I don’t want either of them as president – and I blame the major political parties for giving me a choice so poor that I feel voting is pointless.

    It is long past time for change – both political parties need to wake up and give us worthwhile candidates who might possibly have an interest in how the people in the void between their radical extremes feel.  Alternatively we need a new party, one that is not even further out on the lunatic fringe.  Yes, a new party that caters to the morals and value of the many occupying the silent middle ground of the “void”.

    And we thought Egypt had a hard choice?  The USA is no different at all.