C.G.Ayling

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  • Reviewers should be revered, not reviled.

    {edit 02/23/14} If you’re an author, you’ve had bad reviews or unfavorable press. It happens. What should never happen is you opening your mouth and ramming both your feet down your throat in an attempt to suppress those bad reviews. That is the essence of this post – how bullies behave, and how we should not. Sadly, it uses a real-life example to illustrate how smart people do not behave. Read it and learn. From the comments posted after the post I think you’ll see the perpetrator hasn’t learnt.{/edit}

    A couple of days ago I witnessed some truly appalling behavior by an author named Ben Coulter toward a reviewer. Indeed I found it so reprehensible I could not allow it to pass with only a couple of tweets.  I placed my own work on hold in order to post about it, and considering how little time I have to write, compiling this post has been a significant sacrifice for me. I hope it is time well spent and that other independent authors might learn something from it.

    Read on and make up your own mind. {When Ben Coulter’s nauseating behavior wearies you, as is surely will, you might be interested to read why we all need honest reviews.}

    The images of tweets that appear below give a chronological look at parts of the conversation. Yet, as with many things, the real truth is to be found between the lines. Or, in this case, between the tweets. My thoughts on the hidden truths appear between the screenshots. Now, get ready to find out just how unpleasant and malicious some people can be.

    The start of it all.
    The start of it all.

    Notice Jade does not mention the name of the offender. That is considerate of her and shows obvious class. I re-tweeted her post shortly after 9am Feb 13 then replied to it with the tweet below.

    My reply to @jade in the form of an observation about the sort of bully that makes such threats.
    My reply to Jade in the form of an observation about the sort of bully that makes such threats.

    I wonder if my words will prove prophetic… The entire day passes, until about ten hours later I when tweet again. Within 2 minutes BAM!

    Out of the blue...
    Out of the blue…

    The tweet above appears in my interactions. I don’t recognize the name, but I do recognize the avatar. This Ben Coulter doesn’t follow me, and I don’t follow him. I wonder how he managed to notice me being online? I also wonder how he thinks I could have read the review “in question” since there is no link to it within anything I’ve mentioned or seen till his tweet.  Jade’s only plea was for support against a bully who threatened her, I gave her that support.
    I offer Ben Coulter some impartial advise. Impartial because I don’t know him or Jade, but I do know wrong when I see it and Coulter’s threats toward Jade were and remain wrong.
    The exchange below occurs.

    I wonder if he is proud he managed to intimidate @jade into deleting her review.
    I wonder if he is proud he managed to intimidate @jade into deleting her review.

    Notice the time-stamp at the bottom of the image. Also notice the adjustment of the truth in what Coulter says his threat was. The devil is in the details, and I am detail oriented. I look back at the original tweet and sure enough, that isn’t precisely how he framed his threat toward Jade.
    I ignore Coulter for a couple of minutes while I catch up on what has been happening on my friends timelines.
    Bam! Another out of the blue tweet. But now he’s turned his attention, and his ire, to me and posts this in a thread all by itself.

    Now he's decided to attack me?
    Now he’s decided to attack me?

    After a minute or so contemplation whether I should feed the trolls I reply.

    BCoulter my 2nd replyHowever I notice my reply hasn’t taken the form of a reply. It turns out Coulter, like a complete coward, has already deleted his inflammatory comments toward me. Unfortunately for him I keep my interactions in a separate tab of my browser. To ensure it doesn’t seem like I’m the one originating the attack I capture images of all his tweets {thus the evidence within this thread} and post the image of his attack tweet, along with his further attack.

    now he wants me to leave him alone? Strange, since he started this.
    now he wants me to leave him alone? Strange, since he started this.

    Immediately after, and indeed during this exchange Coulter deleted all of his tweets. However, this is the internet, and the evidence is everywhere. I took the time to report his abusive behavior to Twitter, but since I don’t hold much hope of their doing anything I decided to post the sordid little story here.

    None of this should have happened.

    Coulter should never have threatened Jade. Period. He should have kept his foul mouth shut and never tweeted at me.  If he’d just remained silent my RT would have scrolled away to be forgotten, and he’d have remained anonymous.  If he’d responded to my impartial advice and apologized to Jade it is quite possible he might have turned a huge negative into a positive.  He made a series of very bad choices. Him, not me. And this is the payment the piper demands.

    I’m very sad to see Coulter’s nasty intimidation managed to drive Jade off Twitter, something which lent me further motivation for me to ensure the world can see this behavior for what it is.

    Jade, I hope you come back.  As I encouraged you in a DM, I also hope you publish your full review of his work on Amazon as well as on your blog. Don’t pull your punches.  He certainly doesn’t pull his.

    By the way, in a couple of days I’ll also be deleting my tweets that contain screen shots of this exchange.  Why?  Am I as cowardly as others who shall not remain nameless?  Possibly.  But my motivation is that the images which appear on my profile page are important to me and I don’t want trash taking space there.  After all, who likes to see a pristine beach littered with troll turd?  I know I don’t.

    {Addendum – Feb 16th, 2014.}

    Yesterday I posted this tweet

    Reviewers should be revered, not reviled. http://bit.ly/CGApRsR #review

    Note that it does not include Coulter’s twitter name. Several people re-tweeted it and a couple replied to the tweet.  None mentioned Ben Coulter’s twitter handle of @BCoulterAuthor. However, he proceeded to attack me, which I never saw since I have blocked him, and then to attack them. I only realized this when they began responding to his attacks and I noticed his twitter handle in their replies to him. I opened Coulter’s {IMHO he does not deserve to be addressed with any respect} timeline and watched in horror as he spent the next couple of hours tweeting some of the nastiest personal attacks I have been unfortunate enough to see on Twitter. Per his modus-operandi Coulter deletes as he goes, probably from fear he will be exposed as the nasty, small-minded, unpleasant, and cowardly troll he is. That doesn’t work. You see I use a web browser to access Twitter and I never refresh it, which means the trash stays there until I get sick of seeing it.

    The images below reveal a small part of how cowards can be big, bad, and pretend to be brave when they think no one is ever going to know.  The tweets below were some of the mildest Coulter posted. As those he attacked refused to back down he became more and more obscene, and frankly, more deranged.

    Additional abuse spewed in a public forum.
    Additional abuse spewed in a public forum by one Ben Coulter.
    spurious attacks on anyone who dares to question Ben Coulter
    spurious attacks on anyone who dares question Ben Coulter

    If you’d like to give Coulter the benefit of the doubt, and I encourage you to do so, here are the titles of the books Ben Coulter has published to date.
    Poisoned Saints
    Keep on Running
    When The Saint Comes Marching Home: 3 (Poisoned Saints)

    And if you’re in the mood for reading, here is a sample of my work. Please feel free to contrast and compare it to Coulter’s.

    {Addendum 2 – Let the lies begin (Feb 18th, 2014).}

    Not unexpectedly Coulter can’t let things simply fade away, unless he mistakes “fading away” for deleting his tweets, which he is prone to doing.  More interaction on my timeline today from one of the people he previously attacked made me open his timeline. {What can I say? Sometimes the urge to wallow of troll slime strikes the best of us.}  And what do I find?  Coulter’s usual Tweet and Delete behavior, along with an escalation into outright lies. Coulter begins slowly and escalates. As per previously, the devilish details are between the tweets.

    Ben Coulter starts with little lies.
    Ben Coulter starts with little lies.

    Why would I want to get attention from Coulter’s readers? I don’t write in the same genre as him, therefore his readers are very unlikely to have any interest in my work.  But, like all good lies, it almost sounds plausible.  Let’s move on.

    Ben Coulter moves from a subtle lie to a blatant one.
    Ben Coulter moves from a subtle lie to a blatant one.

    It didn’t take Coulter long to escalate from subtle mistruths to full-on frontal lies, 8 minutes by the time stamps. Coulter’s tweet is an outright lie. It is not open to miss-interpretation, it is a blatant lie. The only times I have ever addressed Coulter are shown as images in this blog post. To state that I, “the blogger and the reviewer woman had been attacking for a few days“, is an out and out lie.

    Unlike our cowardly troll from hell, I don’t Tweet attacks and frantically delete them minutes after in order to hide behavior that is abhorrent and utterly reprehensible.

    My timeline shows everything, and it really only makes sense if you read it that way. You see, most of my Tweets are in response to something else.  In fact, this blog post is in response to “Author” Ben Coulter attacking someone.

    Yes, I occasionally delete my tweets. For two reasons, first to fix typos, and second to clear images off my Twitter profile page. I did that with two of the tweets on this blog post that had images in them that detract from my profile page.  But they are here, and here they will stay.

    Why am I posting about this?

    Why am I bothering to spend my limited time posting about this unpleasant, lying troll named Ben Coulter?  Because too much of the world is willing to sit silent in the face of brutality, threats, and all sorts of morally reprehensible behavior.  Coulter has committed each of those atrocities.  Not against me, but against a reviewer who dared to tell him what she thought about his books.

    The above paragraph is not an opinion stated as a fact.  It is fact stated clearly through the images of Coulter’s words, captured before he took the coward’s way out and attempted to delete the evidence of his foul behavior.

    Our world has turned into the cesspool it is because people stay silent in the face of blatant bullshit.  As Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

    I refuse to “do nothing.” My Twitter timeline holds many examples of my refusal to “do nothing”, as does this blog.  This post is another example of my refusal to do nothing.

    Before I lay this post to rest I would like to say something that may not be obvious. I have never read any of Coulter’s work.  Not the samples on Amazon, nor anything else of his except his Twitter timeline.  You see this post has absolutely nothing to do with Author Ben Coulter’s ability to write novels that sell. All this post is about, is Coulter’s attempt to crush someone.  In his own, undeniable words “prepare for me to destroy you“. That, said to someone who dared to tell him they didn’t like his work. Sadly it seems he managed to drive Jade @Faceki off Twitter. I wonder if Jade is Coulter’s first victim, and whether she will be his last?

    You may choose to remain silent and “do nothing” in the face of evil, but I will not.

  • Papa

    A note left on my desk by my youngest daughter, Julia.

    ~ Papa ~

    Sometimes my roses aren’t red
    And my violets never quite a shade of blue
    But one thing that will always remain
    I love you.
    So when your roses aren’t red, and
    those violets aren’t blue
    Please remember
    I will always love you

  • Submissive, to Society.

    Does society serve us, or do we serve society?

    In a conversation with a female friend she mentioned how she had been brought up to be submissive.  I felt an inexplicable pleasure at this and since I believe inexplicable deserves explanation, it set me to thinking.  The rather shame filled results of those thoughts appear below.

    There are powerful feelings embedded in words like submissive.  Powerful things I have realized are not all the good we’re raised to believe they are.  As a boy, I was trained to not show emotion, to “be strong”.

    What a crock of nonsense!

    Being strong bears no relationship whatsoever to our ability to suppress emotion.  Yet our loving parents are so conned by an uncaring, manipulative society that they raise their kids to fit neatly into predefined stereotypical roles.  Roles that religion reinforces to the benefit of a system structured to churn out obedient, unthinking thralls who will marry, and raise another generation of obedient, unthinking thralls.

    Society makes me sick.

    So why did my hearing a woman admit to being submissive make me feel good?  Because just like her, I’ve been raised in a stereotypic fashion.  My parents loved me, yet they also raised me to believe men should be dominant and women submissive.  That is wrong.

    It is incredibly difficult to break the mold in which we were shaped. If we’re to achieve a system where people actually matter more than their ability to serve society till they’re worn out…  If we’re to achieve a family that serves for more than churning out another generation for corporate mills or uncaring governments to use and discard…  If we’re to achieve something that matters then we must break the mold in which our characters where formed.

    We must teach our children that what lies in their hearts is theirs to decide, not ours to determine.  We must teach our children that they are valued, that they are loved, and that they are free. We must teach them to question, not to obey.  We must teach them that they are free to chart a course outside of the serfdom society needs to keep its skewed systems functioning.  They must learn that they are free to chart a course to happiness, wherever and with whomever they find it.  We must teach them that their happiness cannot be at the expense of others, and that if they are to matter then they must treat everyone they meet as also mattering.

    Both you and I have shackles we must break.  Those shackles bind us into a society of extreme disparity where the vast majority serve, and the miniscule minority do not.  Those shackles demand that we train our children to obedience over thought.  Those shackles are what make us favor the normal over the unique.  Those shackles make us value inanimate material objects over living beings.  Those shackles bind us, and in return they grant us nothing but an illusion of safety.  Those shackles don’t even attempt to grant us an illusion of dignity.

    I am no man’s servant.  Are you?

    Instead of clinging to an illusion of freedom let us cling instead to the hope of an understanding love.

  • What is True Friendship?

    I place inordinate value in true friendship. Likely because I have so few. So what is True Friendship, to me?

    ~ True Friendship ~
    ~
    We can talk of many anythings,
    and understand.
    We can talk of many anythings,
    and never judge.
    We can talk of many anythings,
    and be forgiven.
    We can talk of many anythings,
    and still feel that we are loved.
    ~

    To me, this is the nature of true friendship. I have, and have had, only three that meet this test. And yes, true friendship is indeed something you should never test.

    Some of my thoughts on friendship from Twitter appear below, perhaps you might enjoy reading them.  If you’re on Twitter you can forward them to your friends by retweeting them from right here, with the button inside each tweet.

    While you consider my thoughts on friendship, ask yourself how many true friendships you have, and how much they mean to you. To me, mine mean the world.

    The blood that binds friendship, flows not in veins. #thought

    One of the most powerful things about social media is it’s ability to eliminate distance as a factor in friendship. #thought

    Words, the anvil upon which friendship is formed, or destroyed.

    #FF you say? Well, for me that inspired a poem about friendship – read it here:- http://bit.ly/CGApFrn And never forget your friends.

    A friendship without trust might be better termed a mutual-use association.

    Friendship is not subject to time’s passage.

    a sign of true friendship is that time may pass, yet nothing changes, and when together again, all is, the same.

    True friendship is something to be treasured, not tallied.

    How is friendship formed? From mutual likes, respect, and trust? Perhaps knowing you can reveal your true nature, without fear of judgment?

    {If you enjoyed this please look around, you’ll find [Samples] of my work to read, and perhaps some pieces that might be even considered poetic.
    Indeed, you’ll even find a poem about friendship, }

  • How Measure You Success?

    ~ How Measure You Success? ~
    ~
    By the count of downy feathers
    with which you line your nest.
    By the plushness of the pillows,
    on which you lay your breast.
    ~
    By the count of coins,
    stashed in your hidden chests.
    By servants you train to pander,
    to your most trivial behest.
    ~
    By the count of people,
    you think you have impressed.
    By the loyalties,
    you so sorely stress.
    ~
    By the count of homes you hold,
    yet in which you never rest.
    By the adversaries you’ve defeated,
    and then have laid to rest.
    ~
    By the count of lovely women,
    who you’ve managed to undress.
    By the tender delicacies,
    that you so voraciously ingest.
    ~
    By the count of supposed friendships,
    put to unnecessary tests.
    By levels of anguish imparted,
    and your enemies’ distress.
    ~
    By trivial counts of truly irrelevant things,
    you’re certain you possess.
    By other people’s woe,
    and pleasures purely of the flesh.
    ~
    How measure I success,
    by the living beings,
    with whose love I have been blessed.
    ~

    P.S. Since it holds very powerful religious overtones to which I do not subscribe, I didn’t particularly like the choice of the word “blessed” to end this piece. However, my intent is to condense a couple of thoughts into a single word and it does seem to fit. Thoughts like… joy granted, both given and received, and any form of aid in even the most rudimentary way. Are these not real blessings that even the most materially impoverished can impart and accept? Share blessings without expectation of gain, and receive them gladly with an open heart. Always be generous with your love.

    {If you enjoyed this then look around, you’ll find [Samples] to read, and perhaps even some pieces that might be considered poetic.}

  • The things we do for love…

    An amazing song by 10cc, take a moment and listen…

    10cc – The things we do for love.

    to accompany an amazing image that never fails to pick me up.  What mother fails to love her progeny? None that I know.

    Giraffe-Kiss

    From: giraffe{@}longneck.inc
    Newsgroups: alt.binaries.pictures.animals
    Subject: An extra giraffe – Misha&Makulu-First_Kiss-iej.jpg
    Date: Sat, 18 Sep 1999 19:17:29 GMT

  • Whispered Words, We Share

    ~ Whispered Words ~
    ~
    Whispered words that make us sigh,
    whispered words, of joy so high,
    we fear our hearts might breach the sky,
    whispered words of sorrow deep,
    we cry.
    ~
    Whispered words of comfort true,
    whispered words, when words won’t do.
    whispered words pull me to you,
    whispered words of sky,
    so blue.
    ~
    Whispered words are love’s true start,
    whispered words, we’ll never part,
    whispered words reveal our heart,
    whispered words do we impart,
    whispered words so sweet,
    and tart.
    ~
    Whispered words of what we fear,
    whispered words, that draw us near,
    whispered words of truth or dare,
    whispered words only we will share,
    whispered words to show we care,
    whispered words are love’s
    true stare.
    ~
    Whispered words of childlike play,
    whispered words, for which we pray
    whispered words peel the layers away,
    whispered words our hardened hearts,
    do flay.
    ~
    Whispered words of yours and mine,
    whispered words, can cross all lines,
    whispered words of shivers fine,
    whispered words of tingled spine,
    whispered words so filled with love,
    they shine.
    ~
    Whispered words of love so deep,
    whispered words, to make hearts leap,
    whispered words
    send us
    to sleep.
    ~

    {Should you enjoy this piece, look around, who knows you might find other lyrical pieces you might like.}

  • Wonders of Nature.

    Julia accompanied me on a drive down to the hardware store to get some in-wall mounts for power receptacles {you can never have enough power, right?}. When I say I’m going somewhere and ask if anyone wants to come, Julia is the voice that answers. We take the time together to share thoughts from the mundane to the philosophic.

    On the drive there, Julia informed me that one of the things she would really like to see during her life, is the Baobab tree. Well, having been born and raised in the very country that is home to this amazing giant, I described my memories of the Baobab to her. Its strange glossy gray skin, how it feels almost slippery yet is completely dry. How it really has no wood per se, just a very compact fibrous makeup that feels woody but is not. We discussed creme of tartar, and the fruit pods from which the real McCoy {or the real McCoy as far as I’m concerned} is extracted. The Baobab really is a wonder of nature.

    Food for thought.

    Wandering around the store for a few minutes granted my mind the respite it needs to ruminate on the topic of discussion. For whatever reason, this became thoughts on the wonders of nature.

    Within nature, everything is a wonder.

    From the smallest living organisms to the largest. For inanimate, dead dust, to brilliant gems cut to reveal the reflected lights of the universe hidden within.  From the insignificant things we never see and seldom consider, to the most magnificent we personally encounter.

    For me far and away the most majestic, to the point of being a spiritual encounter, is the Giant Redwood. This magnificent tree is now limited to small parts of the north-western coastal area of the continental U.S.A.  Over 95% of the original old growth redwoods have been cut down and used for timber. Probably the only reason the Giant Redwoods have been spared this fate is that, as far as timber goes, Giant Redwoods are terrible. Their wood is unsuitable for construction, and there isn’t enough profit to be made from felling them for firewood.

    Magnificence, saved not for its wonder, but because man can’t consume it. How sad man can’t see past his own immediate needs, or the potential for profit, and grant all of nature the respect it deserves?

    So, if you do visit the U.S.A. the thing I would recommend seeing, over any other, is the Giant Redwood tree. Forget the Grand Canyon, New York City, Niagara Falls, and Las Vegas. Each of those has been ruined by commercialism. If you want to experience something truly majestic and life-altering, then stand beneath one of nature’s magnificent creations. {Yes, I would as gladly stand beneath a micro-organism, and would likely perceive equivalent magnificence within it, but sometimes size does indeed modify our perception.}

    As you stand beneath a Giant Redwood and gaze upwards you will feel time slow, the suddenly indecently hasty rush of blood through your veins, you will feel the earth alive and altering beneath your feet, and you will see the sky move, even if there is not a cloud in sight.  The feeling of life, of living, of being, I had when I did this was literally awe inspiring.  Will your experience similar things?  I can’t promise you will, but if all you do is sit in an air-conditioned car as you drive through one, sparing but an irritated, quick glance skyward as its shadow consumes the smartphone which so avidly holds your attention… Well, I can assure that then, you won’t.

    We humans are here for the span of a hundred years, if we are exceptionally long lived. Giant Redwoods are here for two thousand.  Some stood hundreds of feet tall even as Rome fell.  Let us not permit the mightiest of known living entities left on earth to fall because man finds something he can exploit with their demise.

    That would be a true tragedy, and mankind has visited enough tragedy upon humanity and our wonderful, wounded earth already.

     

  • moments, to make life worth living.

    My favorite youngest daughter, Julia, sent me this email today. Perhaps she sensed I was a bit down, perhaps she just wanted to say something she knows I love to hear… Anyway the words and poem below are Julia’s exact words, copy and pasted, errors intact as sometimes they should remain. I hope you enjoy Julia’s words as much as I do.

    ~

    So dad just wanted to tell this to you I love you. We both know It can get boring to tell someone this especially when its every day. But I think you can never tell someone this enough because you never know when one of you will be gone.

    ~

    You are the cup of tea thats waiting,

    the argument dissipating.

    The man thats ready to make it all better,

    but waits for it to blow up first so that I learn a lesson.

    The man that wouldn’t let me cut anything in cause I get hurt.

    But laughs a little when I do.

    Simply an

    I love you too.

  • The Fortress of a Father’s Arms.

    The image below is far more than a picture to me, it is an indelible image upon which I could never set a price.

    Dannielle was three, and ran to me to gain protection from the arms of her uncle, who dared request a hug.

    In my mind Dannielle’s expression is one of triumph, and also of daring her uncle approach and assault the fortress of her father’s arms. Instead of embarking on such folly, my brother was smart enough to take the picture – for which I am forever grateful.

    I dare you to come and get me! No? I didn't think so...
    I dare you to come and get me! No? I didn’t think so…