Are these Tweeters for real?

{Disclaimer}. I’m no expert in social media, so read this at your risk… It took my favorite middle daughter, Dannielle, saying “Why don’t you just buy Twitter followers” to prompt me to action, needless to say I ignored that “advice”.

I’ve had a Twitter account a while now, and completely failed to recognize it for what it really is.  I opened the account the day I released my first book, very occasionally I’d log into it, post a thought, and log out.  I’d look at the followers, and following tags and think “How rude! I certainly don’t want people following me – that’s almost like stalking.  And I certainly don’t want to follow anyone, I’m an individual with views of my own – I don’t want anyone telling me what to think, I get enough of that every time there’s a political commentary…”  And that, was that.

Then, a while ago, and without my having any idea how – the “following” tag suddenly had a number next to it.  Bingo! an email appeared, loudly {well, subduedly [sic], since I use FireFox addons to kill almost everything that isn’t text} proclaiming “@LynnHallbrooks is now following you on Twitter!”  I felt a strange surge of surprise, an inexplicable, puzzled tingle.  It prompted me to new heights, making me spill some words in a “Tweet” {along with the coffee I was sipping}.

Things settled down, days went by, the earth resumed its interrupted orbit of the sun. Then, another shock!  Another email, and the number climbed to two.  Another burst of inspiration, another bizarre tweet {I’m finding myself prone to these}.  I held my breath, and sure enough… the world began rotating, again.  “Wow”, I thought, “This is really, really easy!  All I’ve got to do is kick the world every time Twitter stops it, and life goes on.  By the end of the century I’ll have almost a hundred followers…”  Life was good…

I don’t know what made me do it, I swear, perhaps the voyeur within I strive so hard to suppress – I just don’t know… anyway, I clicked on “@LynnHallbrooks”.  My dread, that this would cost me another painful detoxing of a thoroughly infected computer, subsided even as my interest arose.  Lynn Hallbrooks, is a real person (at least, I think she is), she has a website and is a fellow writer.  This time, the world stopped for much longer.  It took significant effort to force it into motion, but I managed {or none of us would still be here, obvious as that might seem, I thought I should mention it…}.  Sadly, that extended delay cost every one of us dearly – our planet is now damaged, and will continue to be more so with every tweet I make.

Don’t blame me for this, for I was an innocent drawn into Pandora’s Box by this strangely named “@LynnHallbrooks”… Blame her, or perhaps the wicked trickster who trapped her in this web before me {come to think of it, all of YOU are to blame – that’s right – I mean @you!}.

{RemovesTongueFromCheek} Actually, I’d like to thank Lynn, though I don’t know her from a bar of soap {I’m pretty sure it’s the lavender scented variety}.  Thanks Lynn, for introducing me to this strange gathering, you were my first actual follower!

PS. If you enjoyed this unabashedly honest litany of lies, say hi to Lynn and drop by anytime to read more ravings of a rambling lunatic {that, would be me}, when I’ll talk about my thoughts on what made me click the “Follow”’s that I clicked, and (possibly more importantly) what made me pass on others.

{Update 1} As promised here’s a link to my Thoughts, on Twitter Bio’s

{Update 2} Here’s another link, to my motivations for using Twitter.

{Update 3} And, another, to tools to try and control Twitter {I’m failing, dismally}.

If you’re interested in origins, as am I, this particular tale started on Twitter. You can read the unfolding twitter tale here.  Or, if you prefer to view the thoughts I hold most dear, well – head on over to “[Tweets]“.