The answer, is very, very few. In our time of instant gratification, instant messages, poor grammar, shortcuts to shortcuts, and attention spans measured in milliseconds very few take the time to actually write.
That my favorite youngest daughter, Julia, is one of those who do somewhat redeems my flagging faith in humanity. How has it come to be that we “don’t have the time” to do the things that matter, yet we have the time to focus our eyes downward onto a little device and completely believe the little alerts it constantly bombards us with are a measure of our worth?
Ting! {A text message! Someone cares about me!}
Here is a heads-up. If they really cared they would visit you. Failing visiting, they would call and talk to you. Failing talking, they would write you. Write, as in actually put pen to paper. Failing pen to paper, they would put fingers to keyboard and email you. There is one thing all these things that people who really care about you have in common. Every one of them results in a conversation. A conversation… You know, where a couple of people actually talk to each other?
The following is not a conversation.
how r u
gud u
cool thx
gtg bi
Sure, texting can be used as a way to let someone know you might be thinking about them. Yes, texting can reinforce a relationship, provided it adds another dimension to an existing one. However, if texting is the basis of your relationship, well you don’t have a relationship.
This is a draft copy of a Letter Julia spent hours writing to her Grandma, I deftly snagged it before it ended up in the waste paper bin. Notice her name at the bottom? She spent hours more teaching herself how to write cursive in order to make her signature look nicer. {Cursive is a skill our schools now deem of insufficient importance to teach.}
Julia cares about her Gran, and here is the evidence.
The next time you think about texting a cryptic message to someone you really care about, think about what your partial line message says about your caring. Think about this post. Then key in their number and call them. Or write them, even if they never know you do, you know you do.
I love this post, and your daughters letter. Conversation is wonderful. I hate getting a text in gobbledygook and rarely reply. Social media for many is all consuming. Near me is a bus stop for the university students, usually most of them are all texting checking their emails, and not paying attention to any other students there. I just think how sad. Any way back to your post, Thank you -Conversation and writing is alive and well in your family.
I look at the technology of cell phones as something particularly destructive. I see the situation you describe, heads down completely engrossed in a tiny little screen, every single day. However it is not limited to college level students, it begins with school children.
On my drive to work I see a group of children waiting for the school bus. They are middle school kids, aged from about 8 to 10. They are all smiling, laughing and interacting with each other.
On my drive home I see a group of about six high school kids who have just been dropped off by the school bus walking together into their apartment. Every one of them is engrossed in their cell phone. I don’t even know why they bother walking alongside each other.
The middle school kids are building friendships that will probably last them forever. The high school kids? I don’t know what they’re doing besides missing out on life to dwell inside a cell phone.
Technology has created such a disconnect. People don’t speak face to face or know how to communicate well anymore. I love your daughter’s letter, even more so that she’s a knitter and wants to knit with her gran. I’m working on improving my writing and love that you understand how important writing is. It’s a way to share your existence with others. Thank you for sharing this. 🙂
It is me who thanks you for taking the time to write. 🙂 Besides the absolute basics, Julia doesn’t really know how to knit. Yet. But she knows her Gran does because her gran has knitted and sent over several things for our kids, and Julia knows that having someone really teach you something like knitting, which demands physical contact as the teacher shows the student how to move their fingers is a fantastic way to become close with that person.
Touch… We humans are tactile creatures. We have a powerful need to touch those we love, just as we have a powerful need to feel things. Touch makes things we see real. Perhaps caressing a touch screen fools us into thinking we’re touching the person on the other end of the text. Perhaps.